I'm sure he's aware that you don't think much more of this teacher than he does. If you disapprove of his teacher (whether you actually voice your disapproval or not makes little difference), that can easily be taken as giving him permission to act out. Regardless, punishing him at home because he doesn't follow the instructions of someone he knows you don't respect is confusing at best. When a child has a bad situation at school, home should be a place to, as EastnWest says, "decompress", with whatever resources are available. He should be allowed to be as happy as you can possibly make him in those post-school hours.
Zhian - I love you, but I totally disagree with your reasoning here. It is not a definite thing that the child is aware of his Mom's feelings for the teacher. Our kids are gifted, but they are also children, and at least some of them can be fooled.
I like the idea of decompressing at home - but to me that means walks outdoors, baking cookies, building with legos. It is perfectly fine to withhold the Wii, and offer it as a reward.
I know that it is heartbreaking to watch the child sobbing, BUT perhaps the crying is a stress reliever that you are mearly providing a wonderful pretext to let the tears out. Your son is aware that his behavior is wrong, and I think it comforts him to have the Wii withheld, so that he can 'pay his debt to society.'
By all means talk to the school - the teachers and the principle. Pretend that they have totally open minds and keep making your case. An unscheduled day off now and again may be setting a bad example, but it is a better example than taking the last 4 weeks off, and gives him a chance to marshal his resources and work on being flexible. Of course if you think he is being damaged, then you will pull him out, knowing that this outweighs the bad example problem.
Your relationship with him is the prize, not the Wii, and that isn't going anywhere. So be consistent,stick with the plan, don't be discouraged that he had a yellow day - you are looking for improvement, not a miracle!
My DH was super at designing rewards and would have one level of reward for good behavior, and then a multiplier effect if the good behavior is consistent. I agree that if the Wii reward doesn't hold his interest in the long term then you have a wonderful measure of just how bad things really are.
3 months in a child's life is forever, one month - with the end of the year parties and special activities is an opportunity. That isn't in the literature, just my personal observation. You will have regrets either way, so follow your guts, ok?
Love and More Love,
Grinity
