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I would be interested in hearing about someone's neighbor or cousin who obtained a PhD in math at a highly competitive university

Therein lies the problem.
Generally speaking, not attacking you directly smile

Why must success be defined what competitive university someone gets into? I feel sad for the parents who can only define success by that measure. That line of thinking is the reason we have so many pushy parents pressuring their kids to be the best and brightest.

If my kids grow up to be honest, independent, confident adults, then I will consider them to be a success. If they are happy working at McDonalds and taking care of their own, then I'll be proud for them.

Happiness cannot be earned or bought, it can only be found within yourself.