My DS5 also has problems with authority. He now knows that, until he is 18, as the mom I am in charge of any and all things related to ....
1. Health/Nutrition (both physical and mental)
2. Safety
3. Manners
These three things cover a lot of stuff. Sometimes I let "natural consequences" be their own lesson. For example, when he was in preschool last year he was refusing to get dressed without a major battle ensuing. Finally (with cooperation from the school) I let him go to school naked. He thought it was great fun until we pulled up in front of the school and he freaked. No problems getting dressed anymore!
