We've potty trained six and they are all different. We had one that wouldn't go on the toilet, so we told him that was fine, but he would have to take care of cleaning himself up and throwing away the dirty pull-ups, wipes, etc. I would stand beside him and verbally direct him on the details. This was unpleasant to say the least! I really didn't have the time/energy, or the patience for the process. However, I was truly tired of diapers in our home. After a few times, it worked. I guess he didn't like cleaning it up either.
Our gifted son was willing to go on the toilet, but wouldn't wipe himself. He was terrified of not getting clean enough. To help him, we installed a full length mirror on the back of the commode door. This solved the problem and gave him a lot of independence. He still freaks out a little when he has to wipe somewhere where there is not a mirror, but the deal is he tries and then we visually check for him and tell him if he needs to do more.
Hope I haven't given too much detail. Potty issues can be embarrasing! The good news is that I agree with the ped...they eventually all get the hang of it.
