My DS3 is definitely asynchronous. He met all his milestones on time or way before, but physically and socially he has always been delayed, mostly within normal limits though.
At his third year check-up, I told his doctor that I was concerned because he is so far advanced cognitively but slower than his peers in his social and gross motor development (for example, at that time he never said hi to anyone unless prompted; he could not ride the tricycle or walk up the stairs as fast as other kids; his running looked a lot like a kid I know with cerebral palsy). The doctor did not pay any attention to how he might be gifted but suggested that DS get tested for Asperger�s and physical disability. I was disappointed but agreed to get DS tested because I didn�t think there would be any harm in getting tested. After spending about three hours in filling out the paper work that was mailed to me by the Asperger's specialty clinic, and then doing my own research on Asperger�s and giftedness, I decided it could in fact be harmful to entrust a gifted child to the mental health care professionals who are ignorant of characteristics of gifted children and mislabel them with a mental illness. The book, Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults by Webb, et al., (2005), and the article, Is Asperger syndrome/high-functioning autism necessarily a disability? by Baron-Cohen (2000) were especially helpful and reassuring. DH and I are now convinced that DS�s giftedness combined with his introversion could be mistaken for Asperger�s. We will wait and see at least another year before getting him tested for Asperger's. I know getting that diagnosis is not a horrible thing if that's what's appropriate (as I'm sure Lorel can tell you better than I can) so we're open to the possibility. But I think he is catching up socially (or maybe it's other kids who are catching up with him). I think he will always be viewed by others as "weird" because his observations and preferences for discussion topics are unusual for his age, but he does not stand out so much now that other kids his age are also developing widely diverse interests. Before, other kids would all gravitate toward blocks and noise-making toys (and often get into physical altercations which would always get DS extremely upset) while DS would sit in the corner by himself and skip count by 2's and 5's or set up marbles to represent the solar system; now, it seems all the kids his age, including my DS, actually listen to each other with interest and verbally express their thoughts, which DS feels much more comfortable with.
I did choose to see a physical therapist though. Her eval was that he was about 4 months behind in gross motor skills but not delayed enough to warrant a special treatment. On the side, she told me not to worry, that she thinks the problem is just that DS is extremely cautious and does not like to try things he is not 100% sure he can do. His difficulty is caused more by his personality than any actual physical problem. It was reassuring because that is exactly what I had suspected.
As far as emotional growth, I'm not sure what's going on there. Starting very early, like age 1 or 2, he would quietly shed tears while listening to classical music or get upset if an animal or an insect would get hurt, so I know he is capable of emotional depth. But he does not empathize with people very well. I'll just have to wait and see how he develops as he gets older.
Anyway, I hope the description of DS and my experiences help others who are going through a similar situation!
Junior
