Kriston and Dottie, thanks.
Kriston, you make me feel better. School was so miserable for him from the day he started in preschool that we could do nothing school-related at home. I wonder what kind of student he would have been had we started him in a better school for him. For now, we do the CTY math on the weekends. And he loves it. (the animations are great - not so sure he'll love it when he gets to the drier content of the EPGY math courses). But it's hard to find the time. I don't want to be adding schoolwork on top of schoolwork. Still trying to figure things out.
As for this year in school - we are weighing the good (support and understanding for him, and no pressure re: the work) against the negatives (his discomfort in a huge school where hallways are jam packed -- 800 kids in the first and second grade hallways taking off their coats and unloading backpacks into narrrow shared lockers every morning -- and 200 kids at a time at lunch and at recess, no real friends in his class), and next year he'll be in a new school anyway with no familiar faces.
Re: the private school, they require a lot of writing, but do customize the work for the more advanced kids. But I remember hearing at an open house a couple of years ago that "our second graders are doing fourth grade math," and thinking "why?" It's one thing to individualize instruction, but what's the point of pushing everyone ahead at the same pace? I think DS could do 4th grade math, but I'm a bit nervous about the lockstep push approach in general. Also, the private school has a lot of "keeping up with the Joneses" social pressures we could do without.
And re: homeschooling - DS would be happy not to ever get out of the house, so I'm not so sure it would be so good for him socially. Of course, if we lived in a warm climate where he could wear a t-shirt, gym shorts and flip-flops all day, he'd get out more. Despite everyone telling me he has to get used to [fill in the blanks - wearing socks, sweaters, taking a loud and crowded bus where the driver yells at the kids to be quiet or that it's their stop, etc.], I finally realize that when he's an adult, he'll choose his environment based on his comfort zone. Probably have a job in a science lab somewhere where it's warm and casual dress. So why make him miserable now, especially if it interferes with his learning and happy outlook on life? The personality change that came over him in his early schooling was major and distressing for all. I just wish I knew we had options at the time.
And Dottie - great point about NCLB. He'll certainly help bring up the scores. Fact is that his Stanford 10 scores last year were all pretty much between 3rd and 5th grade (with one post-high school). And we don't really know where his achievement is, as he refused to try on the schoolwork portions of the WIAT, not trying math problems, reading passages, or writing that I knew very well he could do if he tried. And not knowing what to expect, I certainly didn't prep him to try his best, etc. I wanted the psychologist to observe him and tell us what was going on with school, and we learned a lot. Of course, on the other hand, his score must be a tiny part of the whole with 400 kids in the grade. There must be a large number of kids in his group, too.
So, writing all this out, it makes me think that the best option for now is to keep him in the public school for another year, and to be very careful about his next teacher. I also think that I need to push the school to teach to his abilities. We'll get his first report card next month and I'm very curious to read what the teachers write. I have to say I was alarmed to hear in the November parent teacher conference that they were "studying" comprehension and how to ask questions - of all things for a boy like DS! They have his test scores, after all...
I wish there was a gifted school around here. That would be the best choice for him - let him move forward in the academic subjects, but receive remedial help for his writing skills. Oh well, wishful thinking...
