But how much of this is innate ability? How much are we bringing this on ourselves? This nags me from time to time. Are we creating more of a problem by teaching him advanced math that he wouldn't see until 5th grade (or higher!).
In the nature vs. nurture debate, I say, Does it really matter? Your son is truly gifted, advanced beyond his years - does it matter how he got there? Just because the school didn't "see" his gifts doesn't mean they aren't there, or that you created them in some artificial way. So it wasn't a great year? Very soon, he'll be starting again, with another chance, and maybe this year will be different.
I used to worry that each year my kids would have to start over and "prove" themselves to a new set of teachers. Now I know, they don't have to prove anything. They are gifted, engaging and wonderful, with or without validation from anyone.
I would agree that teaching advanced concepts can backfire, as it did in our DD's case and will likely happen to DS. We afterschooled math to the point where she will soon be 2 years ahead of her already accelerated class. She is bored, and we are frustrated at our failure to be able to accelerate her further. The school said No, they have had negative experiences with further acceleration and won't allow it. So, DD daydreams during math class and teaches her friends new concepts when they don't understand. I don't regret what we've done, and we will probably do the same for DS in a year or two.
Don't give up, JB. A new year is a few weeks away, and hopefully your wonderful DS will have a better year.
