Hi JBDad,
I see too issues in your post:
1) is it IQ or is it mostly environment?
and
2) is my afterschooling creating/causing/exacerbating issues at school?
I've wrestled with both of these questions. I often wondered if I had someone else's kid, and raised him the same, could he make the same leaps? I don't know. I do know that when DS was tested quite young, less than 4yrs old as part of a speech assessment, the psych noted that he already possessed abstract thought. I keep reading how variables are too abstract for 5-7yr olds! That I can't fathom.
As far as magnitude of IQness and testing...I do think it's important to have someone whose skilled in testing gifted kids do the testing. Also, I think testing closer to 7 might be more revealing for you. Regarding teachers, I saw a study where teachers more often pick the high-achievers as gifted (quiet, do the work quickly, etc) and the truly gifted as average or trouble-makers or class clown. It wasn't until my friend's son was half-way through K where he told the teacher "I know how to read already. Let me show you. Then pulled out a MTH book and started reading it to her." She was shocked. My boys would have NEVER EVER done that with a teacher. I don't think there is often the opportunity for kids to show what they know. WHen is a kid going to get the opportunity to show his/her extensive knowledge of space, black holes, multiplication, division, fractions in a regular K,1st grade classroom? Sure it happens in some, but i don't think it's the norm.
Also, and we had this discussion in another thread.....I often wonder if a grade skip would have done it for my son...I felt, in the end, he needed different ... different pace, less drill, more discussion. So the grade skip might not float your son's boat. It might not be enough content-wise, interest, pace, or depth.
I too would see the return of my inquisitive happy boy in the summer! BUt then the problem would get compounded by teaching him things in the summer.
To really lay on the guilt, I was talking to DSthenalmost 8 I think about his problems with school. His reply? "Well, mommy, you taught me everything already." AARRGGHH Nail in heart. So once I recovered I asked him, "Well, were you ready for those things at 6yrs old?" "Yes." "Did you ask me to teach you that at 6yrs old?" "Yes," "Well, what would have had me do? Refuse to teach you? If you're hungry, I feed you ...be it food or knowledge." He totally understood and said he wasn't blaming me lol but you know kids tend to get to the point lol. And most of the time, he made it on his own. I recall back when he was 4ish, driving in the car, and she said "Mommy, guess what! 3+4=7 and 4+3=7, it works both ways, isn't that cool!" And then a few weeks later while doing a dinosaur puzzle I off-handedly said "Oh there's 8 in this row, And 8 in this row. Each row has 8 pieces. So then he counted the rows. Oh so two 8s make 16. I said, "yes, 8x2=16." that was the end of the it...nothing else followed. Then a few weeks or months later, he started giving me multiplication problems "is 2x3=6?" "yes honey" So after a few of those I asked "What's 2x0" he said "noney" I said, "what's noney" He said, "WHen it looks like zero." I can't remember how old but it was before kindergarten. LOL now that probably isn't so advanced on this board now that I re-read it lol but I was shocked at the time given he had no formal instruction.
OK, I mention that long winded story to ask the question, "HOW do you stop learning like that?????" You can't. Well, I guess I could have refused to answer his question about "is 2x3=6?" but he already knew the answers.
So anyhow, people counseled me against teaching him any more math. So I didn't. He's now a rising 4th grader and that decision still haunts me to this day. He learned to hate math at school and thinks math is boring. And after not being challenged, if I do give him the challenge he craves in math, he shuts down...it's getting better after a year of HSing but it was a struggle. So I did what others recommended and we did science and physics instead of typical elementary stuff....but that only delays the problems. Now being advanced in science wasn't an issue for him as he loved being the go-to guy in the classroom and sharing his knowledge. For some reason, his nemesis was math...it was always math. If he wasn't happy w/ math at school, the whole day was ruined. that's why it's so sad for me to see him hating math now. I've been quickly trying to fill in the fundamental skills he needs but finds boring now b/c he should have done it 2yrs ago in his mind.
OH and regarding the SBV...I know a little boy who scored just barely gifted on that....this kid is so far from barely gifted it ain't funny...scored 99.9th on WJIII across the board just about if I recall correctly. The test was done at a university but a student and not someone skilled in testing gifted kids. He was 5 at the time. He's now 7 and the gap only widens. The same with another boy who also tested at 5 on the SBV. Both are most certainly HG+++.
Anyhow, as you can see, I've wrestled w/ this for quite some time but I'll stop here as I doubt anyone will make it to the end anyhow.
