Gah. Have you talked to the preschool staff about this? I think if they're worth their salt they'll be able to deal with this, e.g. by talking explicitly to the children about how different people are ready to do different things at different ages and that's OK! It's more than just "don't be rude to your friend" at stake, it's acceptance of individual difference.
We only just found out about what the other kids said re: her reading, etc. very recently, and we pulled her out of preschool after the parent-teacher conference where the teacher tried to convince us that she'd "just have to learn to be bored". I agree that "acceptance of individual difference" is at stake; had I known that it had happened when it did, I would have addressed it. Now, it's all about helping her move forward, since clearly she is still bothered by the incidents. I say, "incidents" plural because she indicated that it happened on several occassions.
I wish the school would have contacted me. I don't know if it's typical for a school or teacher to *not* say something about it or write me note. And if they didn't know it was occurring, which is possible given that they didn't know that my daughter was allowing kids to bully her into pouring sand onto her hair ("They said they wouldn't play with me, unless I let them do stuff to me") to gain acceptance. There were other similar things, but usually only happened once or twice and then another *tactic was used. I had to bring it to the school's attention, the response was always, "we had no idea". I find that surprising, since there were 4 teachers in her class and about 5 students to teacher - less when you count the student teachers and volunteers, etc. that were there almost daily.
"Gah" is spot on in this case. It's a very highly rated preschool, too. So I was quite surprised and more than a little disappointed.
