I guess I should have added some advice for your situation! My only advice would have to do with the sensory/motor stuff, but re-reading your post I think it's the behavior you're most concerned about and whether the diagnoses are correct? If you are doubting that he doesn't have Aspergers, you could always take him for a second opinion. What do you think, personally, about whether he meets the criteria? I think that thought may guide you. I think there are actual DSM criteria separate for Aspergers, right?
Also, there's a book I love that discusses many of these issues, "The Mislabeled Child" by Brock and Fernette Eide. I think they also have a website. The book discusses the similarities, differences and overlapping symptoms among many of these types of issues.
