But KaT,
What makes your story so unusual are these points:
a) Although he was "in trouble" all the time, the teacher didn't seem to blame him, or think that "there was something wrong with him." She didn't attempt to gang up with other school officials to convinse you and yDH that there was something wrong with him.
b) Although your son was "in trouble" all the time, he didn't internalize that there was "something wrong with him."
c) He enjoyed the social interaction, not all PGlets will, that depends on personality. He didn't come to feel like there was something wrong with him (or them) becuase they were unable to do the activities he enjoyed in play. Some PGlets take it very hard that no one understands the rule of their imaginary games, or are able to play games, such as Yu-gi-oh, that involve reading.
d) His sensory OverExcitabilities didn't make Circle Time a torture for him.
e) He didn't resent the time he spend "not learning anything new." My guess is that he was in a half day program, and had time to himself for learning or your attention the rest of the day. Yes? If so, good for you! My son went from daycare to half day program to daycare, 2 or 3 days a week, and really resented the time lost from pursuing intellectual stimulation. Like you, I had blocked from my awareness just how different he was from other kids, and what his actual needs were. I told myself that his friends were of course shy in front of me, but probably had these same soul-searching conversations during quiet times with their Moms at home.
f)Your son was relaxed that he could read while the other kids were learning. Your son was able to tolerated the "full class participation required" time spent on pre-reading activities, at least to some degree. Your teacher was comfortable with your son's reading ability and didn't discourage or shame him. I've heard many stories about kids suddenly "forgetting how to read" in these settings.
g) Your teacher checked to see what his abilities were, got that it made a difference, and took action! This is pretty rare.
h) Your district has a program to refer him to - unfortunatly also rare.
I think you would agree that if the teacher has been harsh about your son's lack of conformity, if the school hadn't offered acceleration or a gifted program to accomidate his needs, and there was nothing to look forward to be "he needs to learn to control his behavior and get along with all his age-mates" then your Kindy experience might have looked like the begining of a long spell of pain, yes?
KaT - I'm so glad that things didn't go that way for you. If gives me hope that once teachers are educated to the needs and expressions of gifted kids, that things will improve broadly.
Love and More Love,
Trinity
