OH NO!!! Lots of Hugs to you and your family.
I an certainly relate. My son was in a private Montessori school for 2 years and his grades and productivity kept getting lower and lower. We had constant interaction with his teacher (the owner of the school) and she was fussing because he wasn't neat and organized. She kept wanting us to take him to a urologist because he went to the bathroom too many times a day. (Uhmm...since it didn't happen anywhere else but at school, we sort of figured out that it was a way to get out of his seat...) She actually wrote in his final report that we didn't follow up on medical issues and that he had a bladder problem.
Bottom line is that when I dropped him off at school a day early in May, she went off on him. Yelled and told him he was the only child that ever caused problems, that he was the cause of her high blood pressure and poor health. Since it was too close to the end of term to switch his school, we had to live with that horrendous situation for about a month. We limited his hours there to the state minimum and got DS in counceling. The results of that are that he was clinically diagnosed with emotional trauma similar to that of emotionally and verbally abused children.
DS was in this school for 2 years on the advice of the testing psychiatirst since it was supposed to have a great individualized education program. DH and I learned individualized doesn't mean suited to the child. It means whatever the school wants to do if you don't go through the IEP process.
Thankfully, you found out before your son had to spend any more time in that environment! I am also considering home schooling depending on the accomodations that can be worked out with our local school district. I am getting more and more pessimistic as the school date get closer (Aug 27.
