Not pushy is always best, of course, but there are times when you have to step up for your child.
I'm not very good at advocacy because I come off as too in-your-face or--if I try to hold back--as shifty or manipulative or something (reasons we're homeschooling!). But I can tell you that while DS7 was still in public school, I realized that my fear of being "that mom" was overshadowed by my fear of DS7 becoming "that kid." I decided that I could take the label a lot better than he could.
I've learned a lot about technique from people here. Asking questions seems to be a favorite. Keep asking until they give you an answer you like. Then they feel like the idea is theirs and they're a lot more likely to make something happen and not just spout teacher-ese without action.
But I'll let others pass out specifics. Seriously, this is NOT my area of expertise!
I do think it pays to remember that your goals are for your child's growth, learning and general happiness; the teacher's goals are usually aimed at classroom management and general achievement on the end-of-year tests. Those are two different sets of goals entirely! Whenever you can make your goals support the teacher's goals, you'll probably meet with greater success. Making her life easier instead of harder is also a great plan whenever possible.
