Interesting discussion Everyone!
I think if the GAI says gifted and the FSIQ says average, all us Moms say "Gifted."
OTOH, I think of Gifted as much as a possible special need as something to brag about.
A great example is the perfectionism. It's not universal, but it sure is common amoung our Gifted Kids, and has it's own flavor, that I call "Dissonance."
Basically
a kid is way more aware of what an adult "product" should look like than an average kid. The kid judges themselve against impossible standards.
This inhibits one from trying.
This means less practice.
This leads to lower skill development.
Add more looking over one's shoulder, at what the other kids are doing, and
now you have anxiety.
I wouldn't be suprised if your daughter's achievment tests were inhibited by this perfectionism/anxiety also. This would be a great question to ask the tester. Ironically, slow and careful and detailed work is exactly wonderful in school settings - but doesn't boost anyone's speed score.
So how do you parent a child "through" perfectionism?
Thomas S. Greenspon's books, such as "Freeing Our Families from Perfectionism" are a good place to start. You will probably find that you also judge yourself much too harshly - join the club on this one. This is a wonderful opportunity to wiggle the tension loose on yourself and gain insight into your daughter's experience.
Phrases like, "In our family, we try to fit the mode, slow and careful or fast and approximate, to the activity" can be repeated over and over and over, with lots of examples.
Love and More Love,
Trinity
