Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Is it correct to assume that you have a higher IQ?

You've asked another good question. IMO, a classic. My answer is this: If one could have accomplished a lot more than another has accomplished, if they would have had the same resources, encouragement, supportive environment, and opportunities that the other person had... then it may be that this person has a higher IQ... and/or more motivation... and/or more appreciation for those factors... and/or more sense of competition... and/or more work ethic... and/or more goals... and/or more sense of personal responsibility... and/or more resilience, persistence, grit.

But here's the thing: with any combination of those traits and life skills (IQ, motivation, appreciation, competition, work ethic, goal-setting, personal responsibility, resilience, persistence, grit)... a person can make the most of opportunities that ARE available, and can cultivate some amount of support.

Your mom, a small business owner and entrepreneur, may be a potential resource for role modeling math skills including budgeting and scheduling.

One does not inherit indolence, that is to say, I do not believe they have found a DNA marker for this trait. That said, there is an old adage: "What you reward, you get more of." One may have to do some soul-searching or introspection to determine what they find rewarding about a particular course of action or inaction. This may sound counter-intuitive at first glance, but some experts have theorized that fear of failure... or fear of the pain of being pointed out for making a mistake (rather than treating mistakes as normal and as providing learning opportunities for continued growth)... essentially learned "perfectionism"... may result in refusal to take risks, resulting in underachievement... procrastination... all to avoid being pointed out as being "wrong." This may be a common trait among the gifted, a maladaptive skill in response to some people having unrealistically high expectations of the gifted, as exemplified by statements such as, "I thought you were smarter than that" ... or, "If you're so smart, then why can't you do XYZ " ... or, a gifted person meeting negative expectations in order to keep peace, when one observes that exceeding those expectations results in being treated negatively (also called "cutting down tall poppies").

One book that may be of interest is Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good. Amazon provides a "Look Inside" feature, people can also read the reviews. The book may be available at your local public library, or may be transferred in for you, upon request.