So part of the process is actually to figure out what makes sense to you and your understanding of the world
I agree acs. That was the hardest part when my DS(now 8) began obsessing about death. I think he was four-about to turn five- when it all started. He would lay in bed at night and dwell on it until he could not fall asleep. I remember him saying things like, "What is the point of life if we are going to die anyway?" He was so very upset by the whole thought. It was a very difficult discussion to have since we do not attend church and are not particularly religious. We did not have any deaths in the family, and I never understood where this fear came from.
I could tell at the time that he was not buying the whole heaven and choirs of angels story and I wondered whether he was intuitive enough to pick up on my doubts on the subject. We finally had a very long discussion about how different religions had different ideas about death, from heaven to reincarnation. I thought the doubt and uncertainty surrounded death would confuse him and cause him to become more afraid of it. But after our discussion and my confession that no one knows what happens when you die, he pretty much accepted the uncertainty of it.
DS has always worried about very far-reaching topics. He is an only child, and yet became very worried when he was 4 about how he would know how to change diapers when he was a father. He also, in the same time frame, became very concerned that he did not know who he was going to marry when he grew up, or where he would live. He started scouting out houses for sale on our street at age four, so that he could envision himself living there (near us) when he grew up and got married. And he has been actively planning his eagle scout project ever since he first encountered the idea in a cub scout meeting.
I have learned through experience to just take his worries seriously and let him work his way through them. Somehow, they are all part of how he processes his view of the world and his place in it.
