Actually, it's not necessarily good auditory memory that one sees, but good language memory, which is not what is assessed by Digit Span. In fact, her strength in Picture Span may be more consistent with good language memory, as the images involved can be encoded as language much more readily than the numbers in DS can. A better indicator of her listening memory vis a vis NVLD would be a sentence or word list repetition task vs a spatial span task.
I mention rigidity because sometimes the emotional dysregulation, sensitivity to criticism, perfectionism, oppositional behavior, etc. are actually manifestations of anxiety fed by weaknesses in mental flexibility. AKA, rigidity. I would agree with your sense that her negative talk masks frustration. Your observation that the onset of the behaviors was coincident with math challenges is consistent with NVLD.
You have some thoughtful plans in train, and sound like you have a good sense of the feelings and motivations that underlie your DD's behavior. Keep us posted on how the vision therapy and other interventions develop.
