Does anyone else out there have a moderately gifted kid who seems to have strong OEs?
I've done some reading about OEs, which I discovered when I was trying to figure out how to deal with my difficult younger child. So when I stumbled upon books about intensity in the gifted, and the related OEs, I had a lot of "That's my kid!" moments. He has had a lot of behavior trouble in the regular classroom. He has frequent emotional difficulties that we call "the big feelings" and cause us to feel that we are walking on eggshells. He has loads of psychomotor energy including noise-making, tics, and general fidgetiness (he does not sit at his desk, he stands, usually in some position that creates muscle tension), imagination that among many other things has him still arguing with us--at nearly 10 years old--that his stuffed animals most certainly ARE real and they do things when we are away. He has sensory issues like chewing on clothing (we've used chewelry when it's at its worst), will only wear one kind of socks because of the seams, has a love of certain textures and a pure hatred of others... Intellectually, if I teach him something new (usually math) at home, he comes home with the backs of all of his school papers covered in math problems he has made up to challenge himself with his new skill of choice. His teachers always note that he relishes challenge and the harder the work, the happier he is. It goes on and on.
His academic testing was always very high at school, but we understand that does not necessarily correlate to IQ. We had him tested privately a little over a year ago, because some of his behaviors were becoming an issue in the school setting, and even at home. We knew he was bright, and after reading about OEs, we wanted to know what we were dealing with before pursuing any sort of treatment, if any. The testing put him at the low end of the moderately gifted range. That's fine, and is even considered by some to be a so-called sweet spot--bright enough to do just about anything he wants with his life, but not SO bright that he will have social problems, big emotional problems, or even any of these quirks people may see as weird.
The problem is...he DOES have big emotional problems. He DOES have quirks that some may see as weird. He is OE-ridden. But he is "just" moderately gifted, and in the reading I've done, it seems that strong OEs are supposedly more present in the highly gifted. We know he is not highly gifted. Not only from the testing, but from observation. He is capable of working at least two years ahead academically, yes, but he is not sitting in 3rd grade doing calculus. He was not reading at three years old. He would still rather play soccer than sit and do math, and when other kids showed him a toy truck at age four, he did not try to tell them about the inner workings of the engine and other such things that highly gifted children might do. He just played with the truck.
My inner struggle right now is, am I simplifying some of his problems by assuming they are OEs that are associated with giftedness? He is gifted, but he's not THAT gifted, and I don't want to do him a disservice by not providing treatments that might help him with his hyperactivity problems/tics or his oppositional/argumentative nature, or even with his emotional highs and lows. He is currently seeing the psychologist who did his testing, in an attempt to address some pretty significant anxiety problems and possible OCD, but we aren't sure about going deeper with treatment of his other issues. We are working through all that with the doctor, but in the meantime, it's good to hear from other parents too. Does anyone else have experience with a moderately gifted kid who shows strong OEs?
