My DD is her twin in many ways and we are having the same issue. She is 11 and in 6th grade. First trimester, no one had complaints about her, her grades always looked good, most things handed in on time. Second trimester she tanked and just decided she didn't care anymore. She started lying about whether she had homework, if she had turned things in, etc. She goes to special ed daily, and she was lying even to the teacher there. She decided to blow off about 30 math assignments. They were not in the online portal so I had no idea she wasn't doing them in class nor turning them in. By the time I figured it out, it was too late to do anything about it.
So now EVERYONE is on top of her. special ed nagging, teachers nagging, we are nagging, and she pulled her grades back up. It takes a team effort. I do not believe that letting a kid suffer the consequences is an adequate solution, because that assumes the kid actually cares, even if they don't, or that they are doing it on purpose, which they may not be. DD did not care about practically failing math. Or doing poorly on other tests and assignments. The fact that no one kept after her and she got away with it just reinforced the behavior. Is there any way you can get regular check-ins in terms of her work a part of a 504 or IEP? I don't think this is something you can tackle on your own. It sounds like you need as much scaffolding as possible and she needs to be taught specific skills. Just as an interesting note, the special ed teacher actually did the opposite of your teachers and threatened DD...said she will go sit with her in her classes if necessary. That would be a logical consequence. Of course, the circumstance was that DD was lying and not even trying, so that may be different than what your DD is dealing with. If a kid is actually trying, then punishment is not really appropriate. But if they are trying but failing, they need more support, not consequences. Yes, eventually she may remember to turn in assignments if she is always getting bad grades when she forgets, but grades should reflect her work and her learning, not her memory in terms of turning it in. After a while she may say, why bother doing it if I'm going to forget to turn it in and get an F anyway. I would instead set some goals, like no more than 3 late assignments per week and if she meets that goal, figure out some sort of reward.
