DD (just turned 12!) did really well the first half of 7th grade. Straight A's, handed 99% of everything in on time - it was so good. This semester has not been so wonderful. DD has lost many homework sheets and handed in so many late items - she gets anxious and then blows up at home. I've been meeting with a psychologist who supposedly specializes in gifted kids, and she has minimized the ADHD diagnosis and states she believes most of the behavior stems from DD's IQ (bored in class, not inattentive). She recommends allowing DD to suffer the consequences of losing homework or turning it in late. We have followed her instructions to see what would happen. Well, while DD would completely lose it, she really didn't face horrible consequences because the teachers took late homework at the end of the quarter and didn't dock points. Her grades looked pretty horrible (for her) for awhile but then went back to A's once the lost work was turned in. Currently she either has 100's or 0's because something was not turned in.
I keep researching about ADHD and how parents and teachers are to "scaffold" and help with executive function, and I wonder. How much to help? When to allow consequences? I have a 504 meeting coming up for DD. She is allowed to turn in work a day late, and DH and I are to keep on her about filling in the agenda. The teachers refuse to check her agenda because they don't want to draw attention to DD (may embarrass her). DD's main problem is she either forgets to turn the work in, or she loses something between school and home.
Last bit - DD has had some anxiety moments where she began to hyperventilate at school so I know that the issue is weighing on her.
