Welcome!

Originally Posted by omahamama
What is the SOAR?
In this context, SOAR is an acronym for helping students to remember study skills:
Set goals,
Organize,
Ask questions,
Record.
Website here: https://studyskills.com/

Originally Posted by omahamama
he's not an organized kid
To assist with organizing, color-coding has been discussed frequently on the forums, including this recent thread: Very practical advice needed.

Originally Posted by omahamama
he just isn't doing the work
...
they've created much drama and emotion for him...that he doesn't handle well
Organizational skills, time management, and emotional regulation are "Executive Function" (EF) skills. You may wish to read up on that. Here are just a few resources:
- Davidson Database: EF article,
- Understood.org: EF issues,
- Hoagies Gifted Education Page: combined list of AD/HD and EF resources
- wrightslaw: topics list.

Has your child been tested for giftedness? Did the test results indicate any areas for further testing? Has your child been tested for potential EF issues?

Even when there are no EF issues, students may grow unmotivated by lack of an academic challenge worthy of their potential.
- This old post summarizes ten key points made in the linked article: What A Child Doesn't Learn.
- This old post discusses excerpts from a linked article on the downside of having a poor educational/academic "fit".

Originally Posted by omahamama
He loves video games/xbox, etc. It's one motivator that works
Caution is needed as the promise of external rewards can backfire. Children need to develop the sense that accomplishing the work is internally rewarding... they need to create positive thoughts and self-talk about the process of struggling, learning, accomplishing... and believe that they are bettering themselves by this process. Parents can be role models by embracing challenge, being life-long learners, and discussing the joy of making breakthroughs and overcoming obstacles.

Originally Posted by omahamama
I'm not as concerned about actual "grades"
Both parents and children should be aware that grades are being tracked, along with other student information.

Originally Posted by omahamama
He has big college dreams, but seems totally unrealistic considering his lack of effort.
He may enjoy exploring college websites, and learning what their typical admissions are - in terms of GPA, standardized test scores, etc. These books may also be of interest as they give many ideas on what students could be doing in middle school to prepare for high school, and in high school to prepare for college:
- What High Schools Don't Tell You
- What Colleges Don't Tell You

Hopefully something in this roundup of links helps to address at least a few of your questions and concerns, and assists your child in moving forward. smile