Where to begin?! First, glad to find this group. I've enjoyed reading,and have already benefitted from reading your posts. Our 14 year old gifted DS is in the 8th grade. He's a very bright boy, but certainly not as mature as he is smart. Good ole asynchronous development. He's never been great about doing his homework, multiple excuses: didn't know, didn't get any, and nothing to work ahead on.
It's honestly gotten progressively worse. In 7th grade, I was watching his grades closely and he was one point away from the honor role. Fast forward to now and the past quarter, he had no As, all B's and one C. I'm not as concerned about actual "grades" as I am the fact that he just isn't doing the work. Last year, I was on him to get his work done, and frankly, it was obvious that I was putting more work into this...the worry at least, and our relationship became quite strained. "Leave me alone you helicopter parent!!" I reminded him that if he completed his work routinely, I'd be able to back off. He was doing the school work, but only by being prompted and reminded by me. We've tried consequences, but nothing was too effective. A few important facts. There have been some girls interested in him which has been a real problem. He's really not socially mature enough to handle these "relationships", and they've created much drama and emotion for him...that he doesn't handle well. He was struggling with severe acne and is on Accutane. Its working well, but if we had to do it over again, I'd say no. Poor focus, fatigue and low frustration tolerance. He'll be done in Feb, so almost done!!! His effort and energy weren't stellar prior to the acctuane tho. In the middle of last quarter, I decided to stop for a bit, and see how he handled it. Our relationship was stressed, and I thought it was time for him to sink or swim, Well, he kinda sank. For example, in many classes, he had a A on a few tests, but probably 4-5 zeros for work that wasn't done or turned in. Many of these nights of zeros, he had "no homework". Too bad he isn't worried. He has big college dreams, but seems totally unrealistic considering his lack of effort. A few questions for you: 1) What is the SOAR? I'm trying to read about this, but not really getting it. In terms of organization, he's not an organized kid, but to compound things, they don't have lockers and have to exist out of a backpack for the day...often stuffing work into his backpack just to get to the next class on time. 2) He loves video games/xbox, etc. It's one motivator that works, but I'm worried that if I say, you can have 30 minutes of xbox when your work is done, that he either rushes thru his work, or has "none", and just reads instead. We do require an hour min of work. Would love any support or feedback! He's such a smart guy!!
