Sending big hugs greenlotus, to help keep up your own stock.
I so appreciate your comments and others"!!!!!!!
A couple more random opinions to add to the above. I totally agree you don't want to force her into homeschooling, but this is also where you need to do some serious mind-reading, when you talk with her about the pros and cons. To what extent are the items in the two columns real vs. fears?
He struggles hugely with anxiety and indecision, so having the parents take on the responsibility for the initial decision helped him get to a choice he wanted, but was to afraid to take on his own.
This is why we keep waffling about what to do. DD barely can decide what to eat at a restaurant!! The indecision is painful. I did do a pro and con list. From a 1-10 on fear and whether she was open to trying homeschool she was at a 5 for both. We are in a homeschool rich area so I was able to show her many many opportunities for her. I just asked her again about why she would not want to leave, and again she said she would be wasting all the hard work she did last year making friends. Which friends? I ask. She said she found some in art class. I wish that were so.
But don't underestimate how much the ADHD may be causing your daughter to struggle, in the class and out of it. The massive rise in executive function expectations for DS in grade 6 last year were brutal. From everything I have seen in 2E kids, the anxiety hits clinical levels long before the grades start to notably slide. The fact that they *can* do it doesn't mean it's not getting harder every day. And they're watching it get easier for everyone else around them, and wondering "what the he11 is wrong with me?" So I think you got great advice above to look for primary causes. Start by changing the environment to create one that matches and is supportive of your DD, provide therapy such as CBT (which it sounds like you're already doing) - and then see how much of the anxiety and depression is already being addressed by these changes, and whether it may also need to be medicated directly. You're not ignoring the depression, but rather trying to tackle its root causes head on.
Right. I asked in a previous post how much the ADHD might be dragging her down. Just because school grades and work come so easily might she rise like a helium balloon to higher levels if she didn't have the weight of ADHD tied around her neck? The teachers think it's amusing that she doodles. She's just trying to keep herself occupied. She is VERY aware that she struggles with paying attention. She mentioned it several times in one of the psych. assessments.
Finally, I read late last night deep into the emotional assessment. DD is not happy. Not at all. Very very painful. We will honor her decision to go back to middle school, but we are setting up appointments because things need to change. Appointment call going out to a pych. tomorrow to begin a med trial.
Thank you all so much.
