Ds7 reads at a 9th grade level/spells well, but struggles with math and writing. Nightly homework has been a nightmare; so much crying and meltdowns.
That alone is a red flag that something is going on. At 7, homework should be a brief affair.
In the classroom, he can't seem to focus because he can't keep his mind off of his special interest, as opposed to being distracted by classroom atmosphere (teacher agrees).
Did they do any testing for executive function or attention? Any testing along the lines of Conner's Rating Scale? An ADOS (which is the main test used to diagnose autism)? A Vineland test of adaptive skills? Testing on all facets of language skills, with particular attention to expressive and social language use? I would want testing in all those areas.
I am not a testing expert. But based on my experience as a 2e parent, assuming you sent all the scores, this eval did not really look to rule out ADHD, ASD, or anything else along that line-- it looks very perfunctory and aimed mainly at assessing IQ, achievement, and visual-motor. I would want someone with autism expertise to do an ADOS, possibly a BRIEF, the other things mentioned above, spend time with your child, and interview you about your concerns.
He's not interested in playing with other children unless it involves his single interest. Other things possibly of note are that he cannot tie his shoes or ride a bike without training wheels, sensory issues, repetition of words/phrases from favorite tv show, reading at 3yo, etc. (There's more, but I'm doing my best to be brief.)
All that raises some ASD flags for me, too. If you talked to a "regular" neuropsych, I'd recommend going to someone who has seen a LOT of kids with autism, whose main practice deals with ruling in or out. We found that at a children's hospital autism center (after several really useless misdiagnoses).
I am hoping someone here can help me understand how these results relate to what I'm seeing in my child. I was told I simply have a gifted DS, who may have a bit of anxiety when he's not as good at some things. There is no LD/HFA, etc.
That's what they told us when DS14 was 2-3-4 years old, as well. Even though all the ASD hallmarks were there. Many professionals find it VERY hard to see ASD in a kid who has the signs, but also has intact or excellent language skills. They often mistake strong language for strong communication skills, even though they are not the same thing.
It is not OK to ignore a disability and excuse it as "just gifted"-- it doesn't help the child. I would want to really be thorough and rule all these other things out, and have a real explanation for the problems, before naming it "just gifted." Because so far you have no explanation for the struggles-- garden-variety gifted does not necessarily include or explain those struggles and certainly gives you no path toward a remedy.
Finally, I was told that the reasoning for Ds7's all consuming obsession (his single interests have always been cartoon/tv related) that's impacting home and school life is just part of giftedness.
Some gifted kids are intense; and some have single interests. But not all are impaired by those interests (most are not). If it's so strong that it's interfering with life, I'd recommend pursuing it.
I also recommend working on flexibility in all things-- watching other shows to expand his interests, making sure to do activities that are different from his chosen ones, so that he learns to be interested in more things (even though it is hard).
I don't know whether I'm over-reacting, or if not, what I should be asking.
Not over-reacting at all. The sooner you get help and support, the easier it will be to help DS turn it around and be successful.
I really don't understand the portion of high math scores on the WIAT in relation to his struggling. He's just not comprehending/can't learn multiplication facts, not grasping division, etc. Thank you!
Some 2Es have a hard time with math facts-- but have a beautiful grasp of more abstract concepts. (Many teachers believe this is impossible, but I've seen it.) Some kids are practically born with math facts installed; for others it takes years to internalize them even if they understand a great deal of math otherwise.
A simple accommodation is to allow the use of a paper multiplication table when the facts themselves are not what's being tested. Just let him keep growing in math, refer to the table when he needs it, and eventually he will have the facts (or not need them any more because everyone uses a calculator in middle school and onward anyway).
I would say seek a second opinion privately, and in the meanwhile ask school to make a Response to Intervention plan (RTI) to help DS with the things that are difficult for him. They are not supposed to wait for him to fail-- they are supposed to help.
