at the same time we worked like crazy with him to help him improve in those areas too, because ultimately once he gets out of school and is on his own in the world, he needs those skills. I may be the lone outlier in my opinion on this here, but once you're past K-12 education, those skills are as critical if not more so than intellectual ability in negotiating and being successful in the adult world.
I agree. You're not the lone outlier in your observation of the importance of those skills.
While those other qualities aren't definitions of intellectual giftedness, and shouldn't be things that keep an intellectually gifted student out of a gifted program...
Although I understand and appreciate this, let's all remember there is a big difference between a child "being in a gifted program" and a child "having their educational needs met." For example a school's "gifted program" may consist of teaching math one year advanced. Meanwhile a student's "educational needs" may be math 3 years ahead plus remediation/accommodation in an area of relative weakness.
If a child does not fit the offered "gifted program" and the school is thinking in terms of "matching the child to the program", then parents may wish to advocate and think in terms of "matching the program to the child" in order to get their child's educational needs met.
