I ran into a similar situation with our ds10. He is 2e. He had an IEP from 0-5 and in special education due to being born with physical issues but then scored in the 99% in achievement tests when he was 6.5 yrs old. Public school wanted to keep him in special education but then I withdrew ds and put him in a private gifted school - which couldn't accommodate the special needs. I then got him re-tested with the public schools who recognized he was 2e but was told that they would do absolutely nothing because there was no state mandate for giftedness and my ds no longer qualified for or warranted special education or an IEP though he still had special needs (and still does) - which the public school recognized. So I've been homeschooling since he was 6.5 yrs old.
Many other parents find themselves in this situation with 2e kids since there are not many schools who can (or are willing) to accommodate 2e kids, especially when they're hg, eg, or pg. Many parents end up homeschooling as a result, mainly out of default from dealing with the public schools over it.
Try to exhaust all your options, even so crazy ones perhaps. Try to work with the public school in your area first. Then, see what's around or alternative options for private - or alternative public school options. IS school choice an option at neighboring school districts? IS it possible to move, for instance? After that point, you'll have to re-assess the situation. A lot of this is going to depend on where you live and how flexible or accommodating (or not) your public school will be and how much time, energy, and patience you may have. Perhaps your state or area has a Dept of Ed that deals with this sort of thing or an ombudsman that may help? Our state did not. DYS wouldn't have made any difference either with our state.
I had a 2e expert advise me that the choices are: public school, private school, and then homeschooling. After exhausting both the public school and private school options in our area/state, I was left with the third option - homeschooling. I'd say it's the least-worst case situation. It's better than public or private at the moment. It doesn't necessarily mean that in time things won't change. Nothing is etched in stone and most decisions are subject to change. Yes, it's not something I had planned or necessarily wanted, but then I didn't bargain on having a 2e child either and well, what can you do? There are limits in life.
