DD (just turned 11!)was in the car on the way to school today when she realized that she did not have her school binder. Usually we have it all packed up the night before, but DH is out of town so we are a bit out of wack. Anyway, panic ensued when she realized that she would be late, AND she couldn't find the binder at home. She began sobbing these huge gulping sobs and just kept crying "I'll be late!!!!!! I'll be late!!" I tried to be calm, but I was really feeling awful for her and hatred towards the school for giving out lunch detentions if a child is late to school. Anyway, we got to school with 5 minutes to spare. The lady at the front office told me she would send a note to the 1st period teacher to make sure DD was ok after I explained about the meltdown and DD's 504.
My question is - DD11 does have a 504 for ADHD. Age-wise she is a young 5th grader. Grade-wise she is in 6th. She has done FABULOUS this year with getting her homework, lunch, etc back and forth to school. I can count one time where she forgot her agenda and about 4 times she forgot to bring home her lunchbox. This week she has received a zero for missing homework which she claims to have turned in (teacher cannot find it/DD refuses to talk to him again after he told her he did not have it). Today she almost forgot her binder. How strongly do I advocate (help?)for her at the school? When do I wave the 504 flag? In addition, I have been given conflicting advice on mentioning DD's grade acceleration. Some here say their schools do some hand-holding with kids who have been accelerated. Some parents say to not bring it up with the teachers because the kids should be able to deal with it. Thoughts?
Next part: DD is now seeing a psych. to help her with social skills. As posted elsewhere, DD really wants friends but finds it hard. Psych. brought up DD's lack of empathy and how that makes it pretty difficult to connect to others. Psych. brought up that DD "studies" people vs. engaging with them (DD journals personality and behavioral traits of the popular) I stated that DH and I had wondered about Asperger's (even typing this makes me hyperventilate). Psych. said something like DD has Asperger tendencies in terms of social skills and lack of empathy. She also said that kids on the spectrum do have emotions although many people don't understand that.
I ran out of time to talk more to psych. so went online to look at Asperger's symptoms. While she struggles with social stuff and empathy (which she knows she is not - she happily agrees that she should never be a teacher or a doctor because she has little patience with people)and obsession with Minecraft, electronics, researching topics online, DD doesn't seem to fit the bill for a lot of the other symptoms. One site mentioned problems with pretend play. DD used to love to play pretend with older DD (they still do sometimes). Anyway, I wonder where the line is drawn between the spectrum and someone who struggles socially and isn't very emotional.
