PG DYS DD got rejected by some prominent Bay Area independent middle schools last week. (see
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/acronyms.htm). Okay, call 'em prep schools. I thought we could be among the 30% acceptance rate, based on her 99th percentile ISEE score, and the great essays from the $4000 private school consultant.
You are talking about the bay area which is probably the most competitive place on earth with middle school kids already selling their second startup for multi millions while working on finding a cure for cancer and heading up a philanthropic organization to end world poverty - I am only somewhat kidding. The elite "prep" schools here have parents lobbying for their overachieving kids months in advance. They have referral letters and recommendation letters from college professors, VC's who have looked at their kids projects etc. So, a good way to deal with the rejection is to not take it personally and call the admissions director to ask if there was a way for your DD to get off the waitlist and into the second round of admissions - there are many kids who apply to many schools and will turn down some of the seats in favor of their first choice schools. Talk to the admissions officer about your DD's DYS status, her strengths and how you feel that their school might be the best fit for your DD in the bay area. That definitely helps.
Good luck, I feel for you.
