I wish the "safety" thing would work - I felt the same way until I had (my) kids. We made pretty much no progress on swimming lessons until DD11 decided that she wanted to do it.
Isn't it interesting how easy it is to have principles before children. :-)
I think we're going to take a year or two off and try with him again when he's more interested.
There may be some use in finding an "adapted swim" program. These are generally aimed at kids with a variety of disabilities-- which for swimming purposes can include "terrified to be there."
Our adapted swim teachers did a lovely job convincing one of my kids to not be terrified of water on his head. They started with *DS* sprinkling *her* with a watering can, and went from there. It was very nice.
OTOH, you are the parent, and if this feels like a bad investment to you at this time, you probably aren't wrong...
