I rather suspect, though, that the kids who find the most lasting future success are not going to be the ones whose parents force them through the most largely meaningless school and activity hoops. Just my theory.
I know some kids who were really pushed hard through hoops-- they were my HS classmates. Lots of them are neurologists etc. now. They seem happy with the deal they have.
I don't think there is an easy answer here, but I am pretty sure that pointing fingers and blaming parents isn't a workable solution for society's ills.
Perhaps it works for some... or those for whom it works are those who are well suited for that sort of upbringing (high IQ, good internal motivation, enjoyment of reaching those kinds of goals). I didn't have anything approaching pushing and have been successful in part because I was allowed to follow my own development path. Anecdote of one. :-)
It is complicated. Some of it is society's ills -- and you are right that blaming parents, and especially, as you pointed out earlier, making it a mommy blame thing, isn't fixing it (although it does sell). But as parents, sometimes we also need to be the ones stepping back and saying to society: is this really what's needed? Rather than mindlessly buying into the proverbial hamster wheel mentality that says a top college is the only route, for everyone.
I'm fascinated by what I'm seeing with some friends who are homeschooling with a great deal of child-directed learning or sending their children to alternative types of schools. The children really are turning out to be amazing leaders who seem very balanced.
