To clarify, yes, we are working expressing emotions safely and all that jazz, will take up CBT again when we are all back to working order. It is the intensity of the emotions, the way they appear to consume him, that floors me every time and makes me feel so helpless in trying to find ways of getting through to him. After all, he's going on nine and I was hoping for maturity to begin to help him with what should be minor disappointments, and every time he melts down and/or explodes like this over trivia it feels like back to square one.
It is very important that he can express his emotions openly. You know it will not last, so remain confident and reassuring; give him something to hold onto without pushing yourself on him in any way. If you feel helpless yourself, how can he believe in your ability to help him?
The three most important things that helped me handle the intensity of my emotions were (1) realizing and applying that while I am not in direct control of my emotions, I am in control of my behavior; (2) realizing and applying that my thoughts drive my emotions, studying and applying learned optimism; (3) finding a true friend who will not judge about the intensity of my emotions.
My emotions are still as intense as ever, but I now “bounce back” exceptionally fast from negative emotions and thoughts. This helped me—in only a few months once I understood the strategy—overcome 7+ years of major depression; I am now also usually the most upbeat and hopeful person in a room.
Oh, but I do still struggle with understanding how much emotional intensity is safe to express when speaking with others. Just a few weeks ago I wrote a lovely fan “letter” to my #1 musician, a wonderful pianist and violinist who is admittedly not very famous (her youtube videos have less than 200 views), and she “responded” by blocking my Facebook profile—Whoops! But the funny thing is that I can actually handle the intensity of my emotions better now than others can.
What helped most, though, was good old redirection of his mental energies: we had a family reunion and my niece brought out the old Harry Potter Cluedo I'd given her ten years ago. We have played it four times now in as many days (it takes quite a bit longer than ordinary Cluedo, what with the Dark Mark and losing house points and the doors and secret passageways shifting all the time) and he is hooked.
I love Cluedo! I have won every game but one. I definitely need to get the Harry Potter edition now, and hopefully find a worthy opponent one day! I always wonder what everyone is doing. They make so silly moves, it is quite fun to watch. They also constantly try to figure out what I have already figured out, even sometimes when I could not have possibly figured out anything at all yet. Nyahahaha. ^..^
