...and ended up in Hufflepuff, not Gryffindor.
He is heartbroken, hiding crying in his room. Now DH went in wanting something, and he has exploded, screaming, raging, throwing things...

This is such a first world problem. What do I do?!

Hmmmm, if he is throwing things so someone might get hurt, you have to stop him from doing that. Remind him that he is a better person than to behave that way.

Aside from that, be compassionate and discuss with him how he feels and why. Perhaps when he has calmed down a bit you can discuss the sorting system, and whether it is fair, and how it can be improved, what consequences being sorted into one house over another has, and if a student who is sorted into Hufflepuff can still show the courage associated with Gryffindor, and so on.

Do not make light of his emotions. Be compassionate, but do make clear that certain behavior is inacceptable because it puts others at risk.

Is there any hope of getting him to understand that this quiz is stupid? It was not written in letters of fire across the face of the universe, by the hand of God or Dumbledore or J.K. Rowling. It is just a thing made up by some person, probably with not very much deep thought put into it. It means nothing about your DS as a person, nor about what house he would end up in if the Harry Potter world were real.

If he's ready to hear that message, it could be a real teachable moment about how some things that seem to be authoritative really aren't at all.

Or even, getting him to see the flaws in Rowling's world-view? Her ideas about how people divide up into different types, and how some of those types are better than others (though she tries to pretend otherwise)? (But if your son is a fan, he may not be ready to go there.)

Remind him that Harry was initially going to be assigned to Slytherin by the sorting hat, but that he ended up in Gryffindor because he felt that was where he belonged and influenced the hat. That's a major theme in HP--our innate traits don't define us; our choices do. People are often suited for many clubs and professions, and it is the combination of will and skill that determines fit.

Can we assume that this is the semi-official version on Rowling's
site, and not a quiz a teenager slapped together in 10 minutes somewhere else? Even so, it's useful to point out that a short quiz doesn't reveal much about a person's whole personality, which is why the founders of Hogwarts solved that problem through magic instead.

Cedric Diggory was a Hufflepuff, and very courageous. He did face a dragon, after all. He would have done well in Gryffindor.

On the flip side, Ron Weasley was a scaredy-cat so often (spiders, Quidditch team, etc.), but the Sorting Hat did note that he had hidden courage that would come out when it mattered most. He wasn't a realistic choice for Ravenclaw (indifferent student) or Hufflepuff (too many fights with friends), but he had plenty of ambition for Slytherin. But... a Weasley in Slytherin?? Well, maybe Percy.

And then there was Harry. We know all about that one.

Hermione was an intense child who would have stood out in ANY house... she was highly ambitious, a fierce friend and tireless worker, a voracious consumer of knowledge, and of course, fearless.

So:

1) Just because you were chosen by the Hat for a particular house, doesn't mean you wouldn't do just as well in another house. Except in limited cases (Malfoy), people are complex.

2) You still get to choose. So if he's invested in being a Gryffindor, and he shows the qualities of Gryffindor, he can be a Gryffindor.

Here is an article that gives a very good take on the house thing and why some of my most intelligent and brave friends most closely associate themselves to the Hufflepuff House:

http://www.tor.com/2013/07/16/every...flepuff-or-stop-the-hogwarts-house-hate/

I don't know if DD took the same quiz, but she selected the answers that she thought represented the worst character traits, trying to get Slytherin, and it put her in Gryffindor.

I took the quiz twice on two different sites (Pottermore does not seem to have the quiz currently), and was sorted once into Gryffindor and once Hufflepuff.

Upon reflection, I must conclude that Hufflepuff is indeed the greatest house of all, for what is greater than the pursuit of justice?

A Hufflepuff will always stand to fight for what is right—not because it is the brave thing to do, not because it is the intelligent thing to do, not because it is the great thing to do, but because it is the right thing to do.

Hufflepuff, then, is the house of justice and wisdom.

I gladly then choose Hufflepuff over Gryffindor, if the choice is mine to make, and am delighted to find your son there as well. May he and I bring great happiness to the world, and make it a better place!

I am...shocked that anyone is taking this quiz seriously (and gratified to see that not everyone is).

As for the OP, I get that a young child would be upset at getting the result he didn't want, but not the part about throwing things. IMO, taking out your anger on someone else is not okay. This is what I'd focus on.

Yes, I agree. As a fellow Hufflepuff, I am concerned about his behavior. No justice is served when we punish the innocent. As a Hufflepuff, he is too good a person to behave this way.

I'm not to sure about the "stand and fight" part, because that's what Gryffindors are known for, not Hufflepuffs. A Hufflepuff can be expected to do what's right, and to advocate for what's right, but can't be counted upon to fight for it.

Whether a Gryffindor will stand and fight for the right reasons, or for bad reasons, is entirely individual, and dependent on traits not evaluated as necessary to join Gryffindor.

Do I sound like a Ravenclaw yet?

Whatever you do, do not allow him to--EVER--take Facebook quizzes.

I think, clearly, that OP's DS is taking it seriously, and that it's important to acknowledge this. I think that, after dealing with the throwing things part, putting things in perspective includes both "it's only an online test" and "there are absolutely terrific characters in Hufflepuff and it speaks highly of you to be 'sorted' into that House."

Oh my, I am sure you are not the only one to have a child overreact today. I think that this moment is probably passed, but in the moment, the person reacting that way goes to the bedroom to be away from people since that is not how we treat people.

And later, when he has calmed down, we talk about triggers and if this is what happens when you take a quiz, then maybe you don't get to use facebook, or whatever it was, for a while. Or, maybe a warning this time.

My son got Ravenclaw and was cool with it. He is ten though...might not have liked it three years ago.

Some of us have children whose first response is fight (even innocent bystanders). We are generally working on it but it requires rewiring the brain. The shortcut is to frighten the child into complaince but that doesn't teach long term management skills.

OK - before I answered this, I went and took the stupid quiz. I was sorted into Ravenclaw, and felt "pleased" about that. I know - I shouldn't care at all. But there you have it. AI (artificial intelligence) that I am brainy and wise, or whatever Ravenclaw is supposed to be, and by the way I always assumed I would have been Ravenclaw.

My point is, I'm a more or less grown woman and shouldn't give a darn. But fact is - I felt a moment of pleasure at being confirmed to be who I thought I was. I'll bet dollars to donuts that anybody being honest with themselves would be hard-pressed to deny pleasure at that sort of affirmation and dismay if denied it.

So - I say, your child is having a huge reaction, sure. Over-reaction probably. But it's because he feels his very person is denied. I would let him have the big feelings, and not try to talk him out of them. Instead, I'd just focus on (a) it's a computer test - and you'll see. You have control over your destiny and you'll be whoever you want to be. The computer is no authority here. And (b) when you have big feelings, that's OK. But throwing things is not OK. Let's work on THAT!

Nope. If fighting for what is right is the right thing to do, then a Hufflepuff can be counted on to fight. After all, not fighting when fighting is the right thing to do would not be the right thing to do now, would it? And you yourself wrote that a Hufflepuff can be expected to do what's right, no?

Not sure what you mean here. I didn't say anything about frightening a child into compliance. I said that I understood that a young child might get upset about getting the wrong result, but that I'd work on the throwing things part of the reaction --- taking your anger out on someone else is not okay.

Is this a Facebook quiz? In that case, ignore my previous advice.

Maybe it would actually be helpful to have your DS do a Facebook quiz. I took one, recently, something about "Which Celebrity Do You Resemble Most" and it seems like it said Beyonce (or something equally silly). This is just not true, by any stretch of the imagination--trust me on this one.

Maybe DS could take more ridiculous quizzes and find out how ridiculous they really are. Poor guy. (And of course he shouldn't be throwing things--sounds like his feelings were much bigger than his coping skills in that moment.)

I agree with Val. The issue here is the kid is throwing a tantrum and throwing things. I've been there with a child throwing fits. The kid needs to learn that this is NOT acceptable behavior.

a) Help the kid calm down. Whatever works for him/her sending my child to his room to be alone was my go to at this age.

b) Once calmed down & some time has elapsed. Explain calmly that this type of behavior isn't acceptable and at that time talk about the consequences of his behavior. Taking away computer/tablet privileges is a common consequence but you need to do what works for your family. I found it important to wait until we BOTH calmed down so that we didn't start another tantrum and I myself didn't throw out ridiculous threats and I couldn't follow through with.

c) Talk about why this is an overreaction. This isn't one conversation and is best done long after he has calmed down. How these quizzes are for fun and not accurate. How the different houses have their strengths. How he would write such a quiz himself. I find it funny that adults on this board are saying they went to the quiz and they are sorted as X. I've seen no less than a DOZEN different sorting hat quizzes over the years. There isn't one and they will all likely give you a different answer.

Standing and fighting in this case isn't so much doing the right thing as it is trying to stop the other guy from doing the wrong thing. Statistically speaking, a Hufflepuff is more likely to run and hide, since the stand-and-fight response is not a selection criteria for Hufflepuff, but it is for Gryffindor. As a primary selection criteria for an entire house, it can be predicted that the courage trait is generally underrepresented among the other houses.

Statistically speaking, the Ravenclaw is more likely to be an interested spectator, while the Slytherin (assuming they didn't start the fight in the first place) would likely monitor and prepare to take any action based on self-serving opportunities.

However, because people are complex, we can expect that anyone who tests highly for the traits of courage and empathy will join in the fight, regardless of their House (see Snape, Severus).

The official sorting hat quiz is from Pottermore, the official site for Harry Potter information. As far as I am aware, Pottermore has taken down the quiz on the site and will offer a new/updated version soon. However, the previous quiz has been copied to several unofficial websites.

Please try not to categorize me as an “adult” or any other thing, as though that would say any one or other thing about me. I am first and foremost I.


ETA:
From the article linked by George C, quoting from the book:

Not to put too fine a point on it... but I believe that the kid was already in his room, possibly working through his anger (which possibly hadn't peaked yet)? I didn't get the impression that the "what do I do?" was intended to be a "how do I discipline" question, rather more of a "how do I console" question. (Tigerle, please correct me if I'm wrong about this.)

I remember reading this article several years ago and it really struck a chord with me: http://www.npr.org/sections/health-...ntrum-scientists-deconstruct-the-screams

Granted, Tigerle is talking about an older kid, but I think the premise is the same: anger peaks at some point, and that attempting to engage with someone when it hasn't peaked yet isn't constructive.

Back to the OP, your DS may take consolation in the reporting on this study, which showed that individuals who self-identified as belonging to a particular House and then took a more rigorous, science-based personality test scored highly for the traits related to that House, regardless of which House the Pottermore sorting test placed them in: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/06/harry-potter-house-personality-study/396491/

Maybe don't mention that the one group that wasn't consistent was self-selected Gryffindors... though personally, I think substituting "extraversion" for "courage" is a mistake there.

A relevant bit from the article for Nyaanyaa:


:-P~~~

I meant i am sure the OP is dealing with that problem already and doesn't need reminding. Just help with the current problem. I think hufflepuffs are wuite nice though. I may have to take the test. I wonder if it puts anyone at all in Slytherin.

Aha! Slithering! Underhanded tactics! Not the brains for Ravenclaw, but at least trying—ambitious indeed!

You must be a Slytherin!

I got hufflepuff too. Seems fine though i am a bit more academic than they appeared to be.

Wow, three pages on the Hufflepuff situation! Only on davidsons....
Sorry, did not mean to stay away, but we have all been down with a wicked wicked virus and DS8 is actually off school and on antibiotics now for a bacterial infection that has come in on top.

To clarify, yes, we are working expressing emotions safely and all that jazz, will take up CBT again when we are all back to working order. It is the intensity of the emotions, the way they appear to consume him, that floors me every time and makes me feel so helpless in trying to find ways of getting through to him. After all, he's going on nine and I was hoping for maturity to begin to help him with what should be minor disappointments, and every time he melts down and/or explodes like this over trivia it feels like back to square one.

I admit It is my fault for starting the Harry Potter obsession in the first place - he'd refused steadfastly, insisting he only liked "realistic" fiction (spaceships and Famous Five, ahem), but on a particularly trying "I'm booooored" day I made him go to his room and not come out until he read the first volume. He complied screaming and kicking, but Harry worked his magic within minutes. And I was happy that he was finally obsessing about something that had to do with people, and feelings and motivations, unlike, say, minecraft or the like. Yes, he created tables of spells and wonderful technical drawings of broomsticks, but he also grappled with questions of good and evil, loyalty and courage, guilt and redemption.

Um, I want to say that of course the sorting into houses thing is trite and the quizzes are silly but looking at it the way Rowling meant it it, ie the reasons for being sorted not your inborn qualities or talents (which an online quiz of course cannot elicit) but the traits you value, the choices you make and the aspirations you hold (which a online quiz can elicit) I think it is not quite as trite as some of you make out. I think one of the reasons DS8 freaked out was that being sorted into Hufflepuff, despite Dumbledore being his hero and role model, told him something about himself: he'd like to think of himself as daring and brave, but really values community, solidarity and fairness above the dreams of distinction and glory that Gryffindors hold. In short, whilst he is Dumbledores man, he's a little Hufflepuff, through and through!

However, he's accepted that simply wanting to be a Gryffindor rather than anything else is obviously good enough for the hat and will consider himself a Gryffindor for his upcoming wizarding birthday party (the reasons I looked for the ^%#* quiz in the first place! I'll think twice about doing any sorting at this party now!).

What helped most, though, was good old redirection of his mental energies: we had a family reunion and my niece brought out the old Harry Potter Cluedo I'd given her ten years ago. We have played it four times now in as many days (it takes quite a bit longer than ordinary Cluedo, what with the Dark Mark and losing house points and the doors and secret passageways shifting all the time) and he is hooked.

Meant to add I took the quiz too, and as expected, I'm a pretty clear Ravenclaw. Yes, according to the website I found it on, this is the original quiz pulled off the Pottermore site, with all 27 questions or however many there were. A lot.

I think you've confused Gryffindor with Slytherin there.

I want to be quite clear that I do not think this is trite at all. At. All. Mock if you will (though I think most aren't mocking, they are agreeing in a playful way). But then remind yourself how very, very hard it is for our little ones (and sometimes, ourselves) to find "tribe." To feel that they/we fit in somewhere. To believe you have that, and then have it taken away. That's hard - even if the authority taking it away is a dumb computer quiz.

That's why I took the quiz. I knew I'd get that pathetic fizz of pleasure if it said "Ravenclaw." I knew I'd be disappointed if it didn't. But I wanted to confirm it, and there it was.

This is why we see great huge groups of grown-ups dressed in costume for Star Trek conventions and Comic Cons. Great fodder for Saturday Night Live and situation comedies. But the underlying need for community is profound, in my opinion.

My DS is just like yours. Things matter so much, too much, to him. And he has outbursts, too. And he throws things, too. Last night he threw down and broke a hair brush because he it kept making his hair "look like a girl." Not OK.

But as long as I'm remembering where that intensity comes from, we make progress on "intensity is OK, big feelings are OK, throwing things is not OK. When I forget, or slip up and trivialize the thing he is having big feelings about - that's when he slips backwards.

Sorry - soap box rant. But I do feel so much for these little ones trying to find their way, with so few people to understand. Sniffle.... That must just be my cold ....

I think this is a trait that Gryffindors and Slytherins share. Only that Gryffindors want "brave deeds to their names" and Slytherins (namely Phineas Black) feel that Gryffindors engage in "pointless heroics", and Slytherins want to be admired and feared in order to wield power. They do not care about being heroic and chivalrous on the way.

Carry on.

Thank you. I do think most everyone here gets it. It is not the kind of thing I can mention to the moms of classmates...

It is very important that he can express his emotions openly. You know it will not last, so remain confident and reassuring; give him something to hold onto without pushing yourself on him in any way. If you feel helpless yourself, how can he believe in your ability to help him?

The three most important things that helped me handle the intensity of my emotions were (1) realizing and applying that while I am not in direct control of my emotions, I am in control of my behavior; (2) realizing and applying that my thoughts drive my emotions, studying and applying learned optimism; (3) finding a true friend who will not judge about the intensity of my emotions.

My emotions are still as intense as ever, but I now “bounce back” exceptionally fast from negative emotions and thoughts. This helped me—in only a few months once I understood the strategy—overcome 7+ years of major depression; I am now also usually the most upbeat and hopeful person in a room.

Oh, but I do still struggle with understanding how much emotional intensity is safe to express when speaking with others. Just a few weeks ago I wrote a lovely fan “letter” to my #1 musician, a wonderful pianist and violinist who is admittedly not very famous (her youtube videos have less than 200 views), and she “responded” by blocking my Facebook profile—Whoops! But the funny thing is that I can actually handle the intensity of my emotions better now than others can.

I love Cluedo! I have won every game but one. I definitely need to get the Harry Potter edition now, and hopefully find a worthy opponent one day! I always wonder what everyone is doing. They make so silly moves, it is quite fun to watch. They also constantly try to figure out what I have already figured out, even sometimes when I could not have possibly figured out anything at all yet. Nyahahaha. ^..^

Again, people are not just one thing or the other. So yes, someone can be both brave and also glory seeking, and could do well in either Slytherin or Gryffindor. Snape and Harry could easily have swapped Houses, except for differences in personal values at 11 years old. Harry's father could have been a Slytherin, too. Dumbledore, too.

However, it's also possible to have just one of the traits, so a Gryffindor can have limited ambition (Neville, most of the Weasley clan), and a Slytherin can lack courage (Lucius and Draco Malfoy).

Also, not all Slytherins want to be feared in order to gain power/fame, so that's another unfair characterization. Slughorn, for example, found a way to acquire notoriety through the courting of promising youths, and gaining their friendship.

It's when a Gryffindor and a Slytherin have much in common that the real problems start, because then they both have ambition and courage, but are often pursuing opposing ends. So no wonder Phineas Black would curse the Gryffindors for their "pointless heroics," because said heroics are standing in the way of his own ambitions.

Ah . . . not only that; the house of Gryffindor would also be more likely than Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff to uncover the plots of Slytherin, given their tendency to actively look for opportunities to test their courage. Similarly, where a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw may pursue solving quarrels with Slytherin diplomatically by perhaps addressing a teacher, a Gryffindor would openly oppose them without hesitance—for better or worse (e.g., Harry pursuing Malfoy on a Broomstick, which turned out very lucky for him).

This Gryffindor tendency to come into conflict with injustice may be why you mistook the Hufflepuffs as not standing their ground and fighting for justice when need arises. Availability heuristic, I think (I am not too sure, it being too-late-o'clock and all).

True dat.

Slughorn in some ways embodying the Slytherin house that should have been, before it was twisted beyond recognition by Voldemort.

I'd say that both Ron and Neville have secret ambitions to distinguish themselves as shown, for instance, when Ron sees himself in the mirror of Erised being head boy and being awarded the house cup, they just feel inept or unworthy a lot of the time, overshadowed by overbearing family.

Dumbledore, of course, was still extremely ambitious at 11 when he was being sorted. He refused the post of minister much later, after being chastened by his experience with Grindelwald.

And I bet Hufflepuffs can be quite scary, depending on whether they are united behind you or against you. I bet no one is ever bullied or excluded in that house though, not like in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw where their fellow housemates can make life very unpleasant for Harry and Luna. We are rarely privy to goings on in Slytherin, but one would imagine bully is their middle name...

I do love those books for giving so many interesting talking points!

Except that Voldemort was the "heir of Salazar Slytherin," and set loose the monster that Slytherin placed in the castle to kill mudbloods, so I'd say Voldemort was exactly who Slytherin had in mind when he formed his own House. Rather, I'd say Slughorn represents a better, more pro-social means of acquiring fame for fame's sake.


Not sure when Neville shows any particular ambition for ambition's sake, but I agree about Ron. It's for him and Percy that I said "most of" when referencing the Weasley clan. Arthur is perfectly happy to perform his bad-paying but personally fascinating Ministry job, where he exhibits an interesting Gryffindor/Ravenclaw duality, with very little Slytherin. The one who goes to study dragons (Charlie?) appears the same.


There's the whole issue of his seeking and ultimately possessing the Elder Wand, too. There's only one reason to want that.


Except that Hufflepuffs joined in the pile-on against Harry when he entered the Tri-wizard Tournament, and may have even instigated the badges. Diggory was, after all, one of theirs. Diggory is even proudly wearing one of the badges, though he does have the good grace to be embarrassed after Harry sees it.

All of which shows a good example of how far generalizations and stereotypes will take you.


Ditto!

And to think, I refused to look at them for a few years because they were marketed as children's books.

Neville? The boy who tried to stop his friends from losing any more house points in the first volume, and snagged ten points for Gryffindor, winning them the house cup? The one of six veterans of the battle at the ministry, in the fifth? Rowling even tells us the hat wanted to put him into Hufflepuff and he begged for Gryffindor. I bet he had plenty of secret fantasies of being a brave and celebrated hero, and actually managed to become one by book seven.

And Hufflepuffs may unite against you, they do unite against Harry in book two and four, as you pointed out. But I cannot imagine they'd unite against one from their own house, they way Gryffindors and Ravenclaws are shown to do.

By the way, the reason a Slytherin like Phineas Black, who is, after all, on the "good side", would be so dismissive of pointless heroics I'd say is that a true Slytherjn would never leave the end result out of sight - i.e. The point is always "what's in it for me?"

I think I shall go back to my housework.

I imagine his grandmother would have been very displeased had he not become a Gryffindor.

So we managed to get DS8, now DS9 into Gryffindor after all!

His ninth birthday was a Harry Potter themed birthday party. Complete with sorting ceremony (he knew exactly what to answer now for Gryffindor, and of course for his classmate with the bright red hair, the hat screamed "Gryffindor!" at once, but we also got a few happy Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws), potions class (the glassware abstracted from DHs science resource room, the ingredients making very nice layered cocktails), wand making and clasp making for cloaks.
It was the first kids birthday party that was WAY more fun than stress. You haven't lived until you have herded eight 9 year olds with black cloaks and LED powered glowing wands through a 19th century fortification in a Professor McGonagall costume...

I googled a bit and found this:
http://www.instructables.com/id/Layered-Soft-Drinks/
Keeping sugar contents in mind I ordered DH to buy three colourful syrups (cherry, strawberry and something green I couldn't identify) which we called dragon blood, troll blood and snake blood, three types of juice (orange, pineapple and banana) which we called gold and silver juice and three types of soda which we called magic water, magic lemon water and magic ginger water.
He poured it all in Erlenmeyer flasks beforehand. I let two or three kids, which weren't busy with wandmaking or clasp decorating choose their three ingredients, then showed them how to layer them with the help of a spoon (In character as Professor McGonagall of course, including snippy comments and distributing house points!). The layering didn't work so well, maybe because we didn't have ice. The kids didn't mind, most of them loved whatever came out (interestingly, some were happy to drink dragons blood and silver juice, but others needed to know what stuff really was before mixing and drinking). Anyone who felt thirsty could come over and make another. It is amazing the amount of sugar kids can down in one glass without shuddering. For grownup tastes, I would recommend real fruit syrups as opposed to the sugar-food colouring mix DH bought, which may add a little tartness, and going to the trouble of adding ice. Well, or actually adding alcohol, which we did not feel was appropriate at the time!
Interestingly, DS and a few other kids mentioned the potions class was their favourite part. I thought for sure it would have been the treasure hunt through the fortifications vaults in the dark!