Our schools have facilities managers...not an administrator....but head maintanence person (may also be known as a head custodian) who does everything from light repairs to managing the custodial staff...to moving stuff to fire ants and bee control. That is the person I would contact. I would explain the situation to that person and then if he or she kills it (remember one brown recluse could lead to an infestation of a million brown recluses.) I would do something nice (cookies and a nice note maybe).
I have a strong feeling this would be poorly received by DS' gifted program (mostly based on the fact that everything I do seems to be poorly received). I think the well is poisoned--at this point all I can do is stay calm and problem solve. I don't think DS is terrified, thank goodness, it's more like a low-level disturbance. He's made a lot of progress managing anxiety. I do think that his likely coping mechanism is reminding himself over and over that BR spiders are reclusive and not aggressive (hence the name) and that is not productive in study hall.
He said he did try the "There is a brown recluse spider" tactic in class and none of his other classmates seemed to be concerned. They aren't the ones sitting by it, though.
As for the 504--this is why I don't like 504's. It seems like it's up to the parent to monitor compliance, then everyone gets up in arms about it.
I agree. In the meeting, when I asked for very specific language to be added to the accommodations, it felt as if I'd grown a second head, gauging the reactions. I don't really think it should be my job to monitor this. The fact is, if everyone is acting in good faith (me, DS, teachers, administration), the accommodations are very low-level and DS will succeed and progress.
Still, he needs an IEP and he needs some help in school from someone who knows how to help. There is only so much I can do from home, although DS does seem quite open now to understanding situations and we are talking through them. I think the positive comments I've shared with him are helping him open up a little (to the dx, to receiving some support), even though he would likely deny that.
I'm not sure why they expected that his EF issues (well-documented and communicated) would be solved in one week. I explained to DS that the teacher seems to be irritated by the planner issue--DS said, that's reasonable and fair, but that it's hard for him to recognize the teacher's irritation because this particular teacher has a very inscrutable demeanor. I reassured DS this is a skill we are trying to build and he is already improving, and not to get down on himself.
I do think things are going a lot better, all the way around, and am trying to focus my attention on the many positive comments I've received instead of this one negative report. Still, it hurts--my armor has some chinks.
