I keep meaning to post here but haven't had time. DS9 also has writing issues and we've had very similar experiences. We scribe a lot of his homework and the teacher occasionally scribes at school. We don't have a set formula for when we scribe and how much we make him write but whenever there is excessive frustration or when it is going to seriously impact his mark it generally gets scribed. There is only one teacher and only so much time so I'm sure his grades would be higher if he had a full time scribe but that isn't realistic at this point so it is what it is. We don't really emphasize grades and talk a lot about working through the challenge and doing his best. He knows he's smart, he knows we think he's smart and that writing to show what he knows is something that is going to be a struggle but that is ok. He will have a laptop this year in class which hopefully will also help.
I will say that math is generally where he has the biggest battles which is kind of ironic since he is a super, super mathy kid. "Show your answer in numbers, pictures and words" is usually a sign that there will be a battle. He doesn't get why you'd ever need to do all of that when the answer is clearly 42 (and I can't really blame him). In the end he wants A+'s in math. He couldn't care less about most of the other subjects but he cares about math so we've used that as a motivator. We tell him that if they want 3 ways, they are probably going to give 3 marks for it and he will never get all 3 marks if he only shows one way (or just the answer). This helped because it changed it from me (or the teacher) MAKING him do this to him earning his marks by jumping through their hoops (I tried to keep my cynicism to myself as long as I could but he eventually came to his own conclusions so we just went with it).
The other reason that math is more of a pain is they tiny, tiny spaces they give for answers. This really stresses him out. We've encouraged him to get extra paper and do his work there and hand it in with the worksheet if needed. If it is homework and there are 30 problems on the page and I know he can do it I just scribe and he has to tell me absolutely everything (like where to put the carry 1's, what to cross out for borrowing, etc so it looks like he didn't just do it in his head even though that is what he does and then adds the other stuff in after). This year they had government testing so part of this exercise was to train him on how to use a scribe with all of the rules that they have in place.
It is a fine line to walk. I do want him to develop his writing as much as possible but at the same time it can be the source of much frustration. Not sure there is a right answer but we just fumble along as well as we can.
