Well, the snarky answer is that appropriate is whatever the school tells you they'll be providing.
On a more serious note, however, it does seem as though it is often the case that the burden of proof that it is NOT appropriate rests with parents who believe it's intolerably "inappropriate."
Appropriate, sadly, is a moving target. That isn't all bad news-- because it does mean that the right team, working together, can accomplish amazingly good-fitting schooling options for qualified children.
It also means that the opposite of that is nightmarish for parents to try to fight against, when for example the rest of the IEP team is stacked with yes-men/-women who nod at the ringleader (your nemesis) and look at you as though you're crazy for being "that parent" when the rest of them all see NOOOOOO problems.
