The whole 4 year old year for him, he pretty much begged her to do a huge array of montessori activities and she told him he was not allowed to do them until he turned 5 - for about 6 months, all I heard from him was that he "wished he was 5 year old smart" so he could do those activities (which we have come to find out where supposed to be introduced to 4 year olds and in his new Montessori school we have found and love they have informed us that he is actually behind in some lessons because she kept withholding them from him)..and to this day, I still have to reassure him that it is okay that he likes to play boardgames that show the ages that are higher than him because he is so concerned now about his age....the other month in the bookstore he really wanted to get a new collection of readers but he asked me would Mrs. so-and-so (his teacher) get angry that he was reading...I was furious to know that she has totally messed up my child.
There are times when getting an apology from the person who harmed you can do a world of good in a very short time.
I suggest that you think about telling her exactly why you pulled your son from the school, with a cc to the director and maybe a cc to at least two people higher up in the Montessori chain (regional? national? I don't know about their hierarchy).
Remember, these schools are private and depend on tuition to stay in business. Bad recommendations from unhappy parents can kill a school, and they know this.
If she was violating a written Montessori policy, she and the school have an obligation to say "Sorry, what we did was wrong. If you were able to do the age 5 stuff, we should have let you. We made a big mistake and that was wrong."
Hearing these words from authority figures could do him a huge amount of good and help him see that sometimes even grownups make mistakes.
Note, if this were to happen, it might be prudent to know EXACTLY what she's going to say beforehand to ensure that the apology is optimally worded.
Sometimes it's good to kick up a little dust for the sake of the kid, know what I mean? And you might spare the next one the same suffering yours went through at the same time.
Val
