K was very, very bad for us. The chaos/boredom couplet combined with a very old-school dictatorial teacher had DS miserable enough that we almost pulled him out of school all together. But here is the relevant data point for you - we could have! There is no legal requirement for a child to go to K in California.
I don't think I knew this! Do you think that's why attendance wasn't strictly enforced with the doctor visits and stuff? My kid is going to be in three therapies a week and I'm trying to figure out just on that level how we're going to make it all come together.
I know this goes against the early-entry flip side of ideas on this site. But for an easily overwhelmed little boy with EF issues and anxiety, classrooms are just generally going to be very tough. So don't ever forget that whatever you decide, you can always pull the plug and re-boot next year! Frankly, we practically did that. DS had an astonishing number of "doctor appointments" second half of K year. Like twice a week. I had to check attendance requirements to make sure I didn't cause a problem due to absence. I don't recall the rules, but there was never an issue. So just remember that if you get into a rough patch, you can give your kid a break, or just step off! And FWIW - if he's overstimulated and nuts due to the crowd, I expect "nice" will be more important for him than the magnet school. There's always time for that later, and you probably do a bunch of STEAM with him at home anyway, right?
YES, absolutely, he is STEAM-ed out at home all the time. You might be very right about nice vs magnet. Something in my gut is telling me this as well. But we've got people telling us we'd be nuts to pass up the magnet. But I seriously don't think they understand what our little guy's cocktail of issues are like for all of us.
So do you mean that you literally just sort of...gave your guy days off? And it was ok? I like this.
To the second part of your post - I do think it will get better and your DS will be ok (parents too!). First grade was light years better for DS. Some of that was the fact he simply had a better teacher. But to be honest, a lot of it was that he is beginning to grow in to more control over his excitability, impulses and anxiety. He has survival strategies. He's learning how to manage himself. In short, he is beginning to have EF.
There is much to be said for early entry and acceleration for kids that don't have to struggle with EF. But for kids like ours, the extra time to learn to catch themselves is just so valuable. DS honestly learned very little in academics this year (maybe nothing). He did "learn" to read, though this happened almost overnight and he went from not reading at all to reading just about anything. So it wasn't due to academic instruction at the school.
So - no academics. But really he is learning so much about how to manage away from the protective wings of Mom and Dad. He's going to be so much more ready when it comes time for him to actually tackle something academic in school. I've had to do some pretty heavy lifting to make sure the school supports my quirky little guy with proper discipline/teaching as opposed to improper punishment. But he's getting there. I'll bet your guy will, too.
Hope this rambling email helps. Happy to chat if that would help.
Sue
It's so, so, so helpful and hopeful. It's what I need to hear. Our little team (preschool director and psychologists) seem to think that he needs a year or possible two in a "safe" environment and then could transition to public school. We looked at yet another private school today that is a long drive but very small classes. They said they currently have 5 in their K class! It didn't blow our minds, this place. The drive is an issue and I have absolutely zero clue how we'd pay for it! Money is a real and unfortunate issue complicating this.
But I think...sort of knowing that if we go public, this year might be a wash to some degree, but slowly he's going to grow into himself is what I want to believe right now. UGH.
I do SO hope that discipline/teaching as opposed to punishment is fostered, wherever he goes. And I know that that is possibly unrealistic. But it makes such a HUGE difference. Leaving our wonderful preschool who have espoused that is going to be so, so hard.
