I wish I could offer some specific advice about LA schools, but we're up in the Bay Area. DS7 just finished first grade at our local public elementary. He seems much like your child in ability and temperament (except he wasn't an early reader). Here are some data points and thoughts. Lots of folks may have very different thoughts, but maybe this will get a conversation started for you.
K was very, very bad for us. The chaos/boredom couplet combined with a very old-school dictatorial teacher had DS miserable enough that we almost pulled him out of school all together. But here is the relevant data point for you - we could have! There is no legal requirement for a child to go to K in California. I know this goes against the early-entry flip side of ideas on this site. But for an easily overwhelmed little boy with EF issues and anxiety, classrooms are just generally going to be very tough. So don't ever forget that whatever you decide, you can always pull the plug and re-boot next year! Frankly, we practically did that. DS had an astonishing number of "doctor appointments" second half of K year. Like twice a week. I had to check attendance requirements to make sure I didn't cause a problem due to absence. I don't recall the rules, but there was never an issue. So just remember that if you get into a rough patch, you can give your kid a break, or just step off! And FWIW - if he's overstimulated and nuts due to the crowd, I expect "nice" will be more important for him than the magnet school. There's always time for that later, and you probably do a bunch of STEAM with him at home anyway, right?
To the second part of your post - I do think it will get better and your DS will be ok (parents too!). First grade was light years better for DS. Some of that was the fact he simply had a better teacher. But to be honest, a lot of it was that he is beginning to grow in to more control over his excitability, impulses and anxiety. He has survival strategies. He's learning how to manage himself. In short, he is beginning to have EF.
There is much to be said for early entry and acceleration for kids that don't have to struggle with EF. But for kids like ours, the extra time to learn to catch themselves is just so valuable. DS honestly learned very little in academics this year (maybe nothing). He did "learn" to read, though this happened almost overnight and he went from not reading at all to reading just about anything. So it wasn't due to academic instruction at the school.
So - no academics. But really he is learning so much about how to manage away from the protective wings of Mom and Dad. He's going to be so much more ready when it comes time for him to actually tackle something academic in school. I've had to do some pretty heavy lifting to make sure the school supports my quirky little guy with proper discipline/teaching as opposed to improper punishment. But he's getting there. I'll bet your guy will, too.
Hope this rambling email helps. Happy to chat if that would help.
Sue
