I really don't think there is such a thing as a suitable school for such a child. It may be that you can get some needs met and cover the rest at home but if you can homeschool i would go for that.
Right now it's a last resort, as I am not a teacher, and he doesn't like to learn from me. I'm understating how stressful of a situation it could become.
That being said, am I right to think that the issues my son has seem to be common for those on this board? I feel like these 2E problems are not surprising or unusual around here. It is so hard to explain to our family and friends, because it's not obvious (unless you're a teacher who has to deal with him).
Yes, to both. This was an issue my kid had as well, and preschool was hard for him. I have to say that grade school was much better, among other things the classroom was much calmer than the mixed age classrooms in his preschool, more structured activities, free play only during recess outside when he could get away (free play in preschool was hardest on him).
You may not be able to find a perfect setting - even the school you wanted may not have been that. The foremost thing I'd look for is flexibility - none of "that's the way we've always done things/everybody does things" stuff but attention to the needs of the child. They may not be able to fully meet them but at least being aware of them may help. Warm, caring, sounds good. Forget academics, they won't meet his needs, and they may not be to blame even. If he is happy, makes friends, learns stuff like good handwriting and organization, gets to read good books - you're good. Actual academic learning that gets him excited would be the icing on the cake.
Careful about schools that are far away and a bother to commute to. It's rarely worth it, the time in the car is very stressful for these kids as well. Try to prioritize stimulating hobbies and time outdoors.
