Hi Dynasty,

You say: "That's why I'm not so sure that his ability is 100% based on giftedness. The more responses I read, the more I'm being convinced to test!"

I have a few thoughts here that might help you.

First - I think there is a nuance to "when parents suspect giftedness, they're usually right." When you are talking about gifted parents, it seems that if the (gifted) parents have any suspicion the child is gifted AT ALL, there is probably actually a very high level of giftedness. Search on "impostor syndrome" and you'll see why this is true and see how many of us struggle with this as to ourselves and as to our children.

Second - My DS7 has certain IQ subset scores (VCI, GAI) that are quite a bit higher than anything I've ever seen, even on this board. Bragging, right? No - useful for you to know. Because my son shows almost none of the WOW things that many kids here show. Like so many other kids here, he will not perform, he will not display skills, and if forced to, he will just insist he can't do it and turn into a big jerk. He didn't read early. In fact he entered first grade reading below grade level. Three months later he was reading at middle school (or maybe higher) level. Still though, he'll tell you he can't read, if you ask. And he won't show you. He only showed the librarian so he'd be allowed to check out better books.

On the other hand, if you get him going on his current topics (currently, Magic the Gathering and the concept of time as a force in the universe) - look out! You're going to get blasted with stuff you won't believe is coming out of a 7-year old. Right up to the moment he suspects you aren't really interested, you're just testing him. Then - all stop.

Third - re assessment. I've written a few posts about how much having my son assessed helped me, as a parent, to feel comfortable in my choices for DS. I wrote one a few minutes ago on the LOG thread.

We are parenting at the far end of the bell curve. Folks who would never apply typical discipline and development strategies at the other far end of the curve nevertheless feel 100 percent empowered to show their disgust when we don't do what they perceive as the "Right Thing."

The fact is, it's often not the Right Thing for our kids, and applied to our kiddos may well do more harm than good. But since you're not likely to pin your child's assessment results to his shirt everyday, I guess we just have to cut people slack. They can't see what the issue is and just assume they are observing bad parenting. That's where the courage comes in.

There are some powerhouse parents on this website who didn't need a report to do the real Right Thing for the kids. And they don't need a courage boost to ignore irrelevant input. I wish I was one of those parents, but I'm not.

I'm pretty weak-willed when it comes to wanting people to know I am doing the Right Thing. I'm ashamed to admit that in the past, even when my instincts told me not to, I've done the wrong/neurotypical Right Thing to discipline my child. In those moments - when everything was going horribly wrong - my thoughts were outward, toward what people think, rather than inward toward my child and what he truly needed.

The report of my child's assessment is a lifeline for me in these moments. And that alone has made so much difference for my son.

So if you are susceptible to impostor syndrome and/or denying your instincts due to peer pressure, I'd say, "get that test done." It will be your most powerful ally.

Oh - and here's an interesting side note if you're still reading: that report has so much for us, even though we have NEVER shared it with anybody. NEVER. Not even family. It feels like dynamite to us - too subject to misinterpretation. People would think we were sharing just to brag.

Anyway, I ramble.

Yes - you should be here. Welcome. I hope we can help.

Sue