Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments behaviour charts

These charts have never, ever worked for DS. Not for potty training, not for behavior, nothing. I gave them up for good when DS (at age 3.5) said to me, "Mommy, I want to remember about going to the potty. But I can't. Stickers won't change that."

I know some kids just need a little reminder of some sort - but I question whether public humiliation is the best type of reminder. And make no mistake - even if the chart "reinforces good behavior" and is not on public display - every kid in the classroom knows that the child is being tracked and every kid will tell anybody they can - and particularly their parents - that the tracked kid is BAD. And if you are BAD because of something you sincerely cannot help, that puts you in a dark, dark place.

SO - before one of these charts is instituted, there must first be an assessment of the REASON for the tracked behavior. If a child is not acting willfully, the charts won't help. And they'll probably hurt because they will remind the child every day that he is broken, not good enough, BAD.

Can you tell we've struggled with this?

Last year in K, everybody wanted to sticker chart my son. It quickly became apparent the K-teacher was rigid and wouldn't listen to parental input. She assumed we didn't discipline our child and kept asking me to "talk to DS about expected behaviors." As if we didn't do that and more every day. She was brutal and frankly bullied my son in the way only an adult can do to a child. It was appalling and abusive.

Thank goodness the principal listened. She still wanted to use a "positive" chart, so I agreed on the grounds that she track whether it actually made any difference. And she was actually stand-up enough to admit that it didn't. Suffice to say I just kept my son away from school as much as possible to get past the end of the year.

This year, they started out wanting to sticker-chart, but the first grade teacher (who has 3 sons, two of whom are on the spectrum), dropped it as soon as it was obviously not making a difference, and moved to working with my son. She acknowledges his challenges, and tries to help him find workarounds. Then she compliments him when he uses the workarounds. When things aren't going well, she actually asks him why, and how she could help. Things are still bumpy, but instead of retreating into his "BAD" label and lashing out in frustration, DS is making progress and is learning in school. Mostly he's learning about himself and how to manage within a system (because he's already done with the year's curriculum). But that is what he needs most right now, so I'm OK with that. We can do actual learning of "stuff" at home.

So anyway - this is a huge long rant about sticker charts and how they can be so very, very bad for a child when the threshold issue is not addressed. You must first find out if the child is acting in a way he COULD control. If not, you must help the child learn the skills. And public humiliation via sticker charts, that assume he already has the skills, are an obstruction in that case, not an aid.

Rant concluded!
Sue