Cola - I am so glad for you that you now have a solid foundation to start helping your DS! I know for us, getting that diagnosis was a relief and a fright all mixed up together. If you're feeling elated, vindicated and horrified all at once, you are not alone.
Four months later, we are still collecting information from schools and teachers, reading specialist and audiologist, and the list just keeps growing, trying to turn our diagnosis into a practical understanding of what we actually need to DO to help our dyslexic, ADHD-I, and maybe CAPD, daughter. Some interventions are obvious and started immediately. Longer-term schooling is still a big question, but our options and key decision factors are starting to become a lot more clear. We can already see functional improvements in some areas, while we are uncovering new potential disabilities in others (while assessing auditory processing, visual processing issues were flagged.... another "-ist" to visit. sigh.)
It's a process, and you're working with a constantly moving target. The good advice we got from this board was to start with the easiest and most obvious thing, and work your way through to the more more challenging and longer-term issues. For us, for example, reading remediation was the jump-on first issue. From your posts, I would guess some immediate accommodations for the dysgraphia would go a long way towards reducing the misery and fights over schoolwork, and create a more positive atmosphere for starting to deal with the ADHD and other issues.
It's a daunting road sometimes, but remember: now you know you're on the right road, and you're moving forward and working with and for your son. I met with DDs teachers this week, and they talked a lot about her complete turn-around over the last few months: in attitude and cooperation, in her cheeriness and willingness to tackle stuff instead of being frustrated and shut down, and seeing actual "chirpiness" in lieu of alarm-bell-ringing levels of anxiety in the classroom. And all that not because we've changed or fixed all that much already, but mostly because her diagnosis has given her confidence that she is not stupid and she CAN learn, she just needs to do it in a different way. And she can already see that that different way is improving her reading. And her teachers' awareness of her diagnosis, with her technology accommodations, have reduced the stress of keeping up with output demands. We're working on it, and she can see it working.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that while you're not going to "fix" your DS any time soon, it can take remarkably little time to convince him that he is not actually *broken*. He simply needs to access his learning in a different way. It won't all happen overnight, but it can start today.
Goodness, I hope this isn't as preachy as it sounds! Don't mean it to be. Deep breath. You're doing great. You can do it, you're already doing it.
