I just caught up on this thread and saw some additional comments. I just wanted to clarify a few things. Autism is not a disease. There are symptoms, but they are mostly a loosely connected laundry list of associated behaviors, and not used as diagnostic criteria. They have been assembled to help parents, teachers and other non-experts identify children to facilitate diagnosis. Diagnostic criteria include several hallmarks of the disorder, such as: lack of empathy, lack of theory of mind, limited or no eye to eye gaze during conversation, flat affect, limited or lack of social emotional reciprocity, inability to sustain conversation, use of stereotyped language, echolalia or repetitive language, restricted patterns of interest, adherence to routines and rituals, repetitive motor mannerisms, and impairments to social skills, communication, or imaginative play prior to 3 years old. Not all autistic children have the same behaviors/symptoms. However, for a diagnosis of autism, the child would need to have a majority of these symptoms to some degree.
No parent can accurately identify these traits in their child. It takes years of experience. This is why pediatricians and schools should not be performing diagnostic testing for autism. It takes a trained eye to discern "quirky" from disordered. A PG child can have some neuroatypical symptoms, but not have met any diagnostic criteria for autism. Neuroatypical does not equal autism! Further, you absolutely can diagnose a child with autism before the age of 8 with a high degree of accuracy. Waiting to get a diagnosis for your child until they are “older” will just make improving some of the more rigid behaviors associated with autism more difficult. I cannot stress this enough. Children with autism do not outgrow it. You can with time, reduce dysfunctional behaviors with therapy, but they will always be there to some degree.
I agree with what others have said that you shouldn’t excuse behavior that is abnormal in a gifted child and dismiss it as “gifted” behavior. DD10’s gifted teacher filled out all her diagnostic questionnaires in the normal range. Everyone else that completed diagnostic paperwork put her firmly in the autistic camp. Trust me, you don’t want someone like this involved in the diagnostic process for your child. I actually had my daughter’s 4th grade teacher try to dismiss some of DD10’s autistic behaviors as “hormonal changes” (a.k.a PMS) in her IEP meeting. I have never wanted to strangle anyone as much as I did that woman in that moment. People’s ability to marginalize or hand wave autism symptoms away can be ridiculous at times.
