Well, hugs.
Below is not advice. It is just my experience.
Pragmatism is important, but sometimes a teacher really can do a lot of harm, especially to a kid who is highly sensitive.
Our child has had two bad classroom experiences. In the first one (a preschool), we talked with the head of the school. She was very approachable, but we didn't get the sense that she saw a problem. As nice as she (and the school) was, we left that school. The next year my daughter had a much better experience.
The second time (an elementary school), the administration was very receptive to our concerns, never belittled them, and the counselor became an advocate for my child. Nothing changed during that school year, but the right teacher was selected for her this year and things are so much better.
That leads me to believe that before changing schools, it can be helpful to talk to someone higher up. I think finding an advocate there helped in a more long-term way.
At any rate, I left my child in the bad situation for the remainder of the year both times. It DOES do damage. I would not leave my child in that situation for longer than a year, and I do wish I had brought up the problem earlier last year and tried to get her class changed. In both years we spent the summer working to build her confidence back up again. But this year she has a teacher who knows her history and can help build her confidence back up too. There is something to be said for that.
I totally get the "doing more harm" thing. FWIW, things I have learned (for my situation) are: not to use the words bullied or gifted, talk about very observable specifics, document the things that concern you (we kept behavior calendars, samples of handwriting, samples of work that concerned us and showed a pattern, examples of what my child was doing at home), bring the documentation. I think documentation is really, really important. The school needs to SEE the problem, not just hear about it.
