Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy As my son would say, "epic failure"

So, my DD6 started 1st grade at her new gifted/high achieving magnet school and is done with all her assessments at school. We met with her new school several times to advocate for her and finally they agreed to give her the 2nd grade end of year math test. Her teacher also gave her the 1st grade test first which we had agreed ahead of time that they would not do. I guess the teacher changed her mind.
She bombed the 2nd grade test despite knowing most of the material. DD told me that she was trying to do the large sums in her head and refused to right it down then left it blank. Then she made several errors that I am positive she knows the correct answers to. She said she couldn't concentrate due to rest of class being in circle time.
Teacher told us she is well placed in her classroom and she is only in the top third in math ability, therefore in no need of subject acceleration at this time and feels she does not need any assistance from our DYS consultant. This school does have very high expectations for writing in math and in truth she would struggle with that. Then she ended our meeting basically implying that we all feel our kiddos are a special snowflake but truly there are plenty of bright if not brighter kids like her and to stop worrying!

Yikes, I am totally feeling like a failure right now. And ashamed to admit that I am even questioning if she should be a DYS. All I have accomplished is to appear like a pushy tiger mom in the eyes of her teacher. I do not want to push her above what she is capable of.
Do you any of feel like this sometimes? I feel guilty that the only real enrichment we did was reading to her a lot. We have a high number of kumon kids who are offspring of engineers.