Well, only a perfectionist could see that kind of silver lining, though... so I guess there IS an important benefit in being a perfectionist!
Colinsmum and I are saying much the same thing, I think-- that is, her DS is
enjoying his pursuits and feels that his investment is "appropriate" and not excessive... because it is intrinsically of value to him, independent of the trappings of the success that seem to have come along with the devotion to his passion.
DD has had competition level
talent and
potential at quite a number of things in her life-- but she has not had the
passion to pursue them at that elite level. We haven't made her, either. That's the lesson of SFBF; it has to be their idea, or you're stealing a childhood they'll never get back. THAT, in my own estimation, is the very definition of toxic Hot-Housing, or of TigerParenting. It's the external
direction of it all that makes the difference.
Now, back to Portia's second point-- why on earth would an acquaintance feel the need to relate such a sad tale to a parent? Well, probably because they FEAR that the parent is exercising undue influence on the child's choices in terms of effort, time, and energy devoted to participation in an activity. Maybe it's because they care (albeit in a misguided or ignorant manner) about the parent and the child in question. One wonders, though, whether or not such intervention is also directed at stage parents and sports ones. {sigh} I'm guessing not so much, actually.
