Thank you for your responses, this really helps.
If I look at FSIQ instead of GAI he is only 138 because processing speed is 21st percentile which is pretty low. The assessor says it's because of anxiety and because slow processing speed is common for gifted kids (although she did say it was VERY slow, which she believes is due to anxiety). He is not interested in anything at school at all except science and art. He doesn't appear to have ADHD beyond normal disorganized 9 year old boy, but does concentrate so deeply when interested in something or daydreaming that we have to repeat his name several times to get his attention. He doesn't appear to have anxiety to me beyond separation anxiety which is actually pretty strong and we are working on it. It's hard because I remember growing up and thinking I'm gifted I'm supposed to be smart, now I wonder if I have slow processing speed because I have felt a little slow around my friends and have trouble communicating what I know clearly (which is often on expert level because I spend days to weeks obsessively researching things and I am pretty concerned about accuracy).
My daughter has a FSIQ of 148 and processing speed at 79th percentile. She actually appears a lot less gifted than he does, although both her GAI and FSIQ are higher.
But I agree wholeheartedly, high IQ doesn't equal success or happiness in life (in fact sometimes it creates challenges to happiness)- effort, efficiency, the ability to get along with a lot of different people and to appreciate life in general are much more important. None of my family are happy except for me, and truthfully I haven't done all that much with my life that would be wikipedia worthy, but I find I am often grateful for the people and things in it (especially the Internet and for forums like this one where people you have never met will take the time to help you).
It's just hard to figure out what to do with a kid that is obviously bored at school, but it's because he's not interested in academics..my daughter does fine, at least for now.
Cammom, I did lobby for this one teacher who is supposed to be a good fit for kids like my son. I was also an unachiever and I remember just feeling like the material was very dull and not worth bothering with. I only liked art and journalism until I took the GED at 16 and went to Community College. That was eye opening for me, suddenly I loved school.
