The sensory issues, hand flapping, and disorganization can all be signs of an ASD.
My 10yo boy exhibits the latter two traits. I think his grades this year in 6th grade (he is one year advanced) will be A's and B's, although there are individual assignments where he has done worse. My wife considers him an underachiever and is more concerned than I am, broaching the idea of holding him back a year (undoing the year-ahead placement). But you don't make a student with decent grades repeat a grade.
I agree. What has worked for our family is systematic teaching and positive reinforcement of organizational skills, first in isolation, then in context. Writing homework in the planner is a complex skill: you have to remember to get out the planner (when you're already thinking about something else at the start of class), do far-point copying from the board, actually remember to check the planner so you can take home the materials that go with the assignment, and look at it again later at homework time. We worked on each component skill, with support from school so that the skills would be deployed.
For a neurologically unusual person, it can take a lot longer to build these habits than it does for a more "typical" person, but it's possible. Teaching all the skills, and workarounds as needed for skills that aren't coming any time soon, is important IMO.
Kids with ADHD or Asperger's/autism are also famous for doing the homework and not turning it in. This can be a perspective-taking issue: they've seen their own finished work, so they barely realize that the teacher also has to see the finished work or it won't get graded. This drives the people around them batty. It can be solved by a variety of strategies (clipping things to the front of the binder; getting everyone to agree that papers are submitted via email the minute they are completed; etc.).
Keep in mind that "behavioral approaches" or "applied behavior analysis" encompasses everything from "you work, you get paid" to very complex systems of reinforcement. I am a fan of these approaches, because they are highly customizable and can be implemented by parents.
Is there a book for parents who wonder if they should do anything (as opposed to cases where intervention is clearly necessary)? According to DSM-5 Asperger's can no longer even be diagnosed.
For organization, "Smart but Scattered" and "Late, Lost and Unprepared" are classic and moderately useful.
If you're not sure, seeing a neuropsych to get an opinion could be a good idea. Many do an intake interview with parents first before deciding whether to test at all.
For ruling autism spectrum disorders in or out, most clinicians here are using DSM-4 and DSM-5 in parallel for a while to make sure they don't miss cases. The revision was controversial.
In addition, pretty much everyone who was formerly diagnosable as having Asperger's is now supposed to be diagnosable as having autism spectrum disorder.
A good clinician can help you discern what is a serious problem (vs. normal pre-teen disorganization), how much of a problem it is, and whether it should have a name.
