As far as the reflections go, is this a lack of understanding or a lack of compliance. If it's an issue of compliance, then I see three options:
1. Ask for fewer reflections. Perhaps only one for each problem type, if mastery is proven... but this is probably a long shot.
2. Teach that there are times when compliance is the best option... especially if there is a significant impact on her grade, and the student-teacher relationship is important for the future.
3. Teach that there are times when noncompliance is the best option... especially if there isn't a significant impact on her grade, and the student-teacher relationship isn't important for the future.
Easier said than done. We never had a problem in math, probably because we didn't use this curriculum. But my son has always struggled with writing down something that seems obvious to him. Teaching him to comply and just write something has been easier said than done. And teaching that it's OK to skip some assignments if they don't affect the grade can set a precedent I was never comfortable with. That doesn't mean I haven't taught him to triage homework on a particularly busy night. But there isn't always a good correspondence between usefulness of an assignment and how much it's worth. And sometimes it's hard to tell ahead of time how much weight a teacher will give an assignment.
The teacher not mentioning that your daughter was behind in classwork/homework for 2 months is inexcusable. It sounds like it's time to talk with the principal.
