Originally Posted by EmeraldCity
Can anyone offer advice on how to help a child, 3 ½, who develops very strong emotional attachments and has trouble with transitions/changes process the loss of a friendship?

This loss triggered a major flare-up in his SPD (awaiting official diagnosis this week) resulting in explosive behavior. We are using a variety of strategies to help him with regulation including OT – only 3 weeks in, but already OT has greatly improved our ability to help him. He is getting calmer now, but still expressing sadness about the loss of his friend and saying how much he misses him.

I listen, acknowledge his loss and offer empathy, but I’m wondering if there is anything else I could be saying or doing to help him process his feelings.


We don't have exactly this issue but I think we are in a similar situation. My 3 year old is really grieving the change in seasons from fall to winter this year. Not the same really but it is about recognizing change, growing up, that there is nothing you can do to make it the way you want, and an awareness that growing older is not always what you want it to be. We acknowledge that we loved Fall and had a great time and that winter here is hard, we explain that we too wish we could control it, talk about the great memories we have that are special, and talk about how we will have many new special memories in the winter. We also talk about why winter is needed in the seasons here and how wonderful Spring will be. He is getting better about it, but I can tell it is hard. We are in the rough period of weather when it gets dark really early, is very cold, and is just rainy and soggy. We should get snow this week and I'm hoping that will help.

FWIW, I think you are handling it really well. It is hard for me as an adult to say goodbye to good friends. I think for a sensitive little one who may have the intellectual ability to understand what is happening with the asynchronous emotions may struggle with it... and that is both okay and to be expected, along with heartbreaking to watch. True kindred spirits are rare at any age. It is actually pretty amazing that he is mature enough to recognize that at 3.5. Even as adults, there are many times we know we should accept something and move on, but our feelings take a little longer.